#also don't know why the audio is so quiet oh well

[cuteandhughesy]

You Are In Love | Matthew Knies

summary: john tavares' sister is the social media manager for the leafs. she loves her job and the friendships she forms with the team - but what happens when her older brother invites her new crush to live with them.

14.2 + K

warnings: NSFW! secret relationship | brothers teammate | mutual pinning | fluff | suggestive themes | smut | kissing | oral (female receiving) | unprotected! p in v intercourse | read at your own discretion.

a/n: okay I write this like over a year ago so it’s not the best! also i originally wrote it with an original character in mind - so if you see a name instead oh y/n….no you didn’t.

link to masterlist

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"he doesn't have a place to stay, so I offered him the other spare," john's voice was grainy over your cellphone speaker but you heard his words loud and clear. "It's the right thing to do."

"yeah!" you we're kind of in...shock. "The kids will love it..." they would - you weren't lying. that doesn't change the fact that you were kind of nervous.

your brother must've been able to tell by your tone, "you okay?" he asked.

you cleared your throat. "yeah."

"he's a good kid and he's your age - you've met him right?"

you have in fact met him. you have worked for the leafs for about a year. they had needed a new social media manager and somebody to run their teams tiktok account. When john told you, he said the team wanted more fun and interactive content on their pages and recommended you.

you had the degree and the charisma so you were hired with no questions. The fans loved the style of content you were posting, and the team had a great time answering your questions and lip syncing to stupid audios.

you were introduced to the newest maple leaf only a week ago. matthew knies had answered one of your daily questions before a practice and you were totally in awe. convinced you had never seen a better looking guy your age, you immediately developed a crush on the rookie.

so yeah, "I've met him two or three times. very polite."

"yeah," john says. jace runs into your legs and you grunt out from the force of your nephew slamming into your shins.

aryne walks into the living room with baby rae in her arms, she was feeding her. "is that john? is he on his way?"

"are you on your way?" you relay his wife's question. you can hear his turn signal in the background.

"yeah, 10 minutes away."

"10 minutes," you tell your sister in law. she smiles at you, ruffling jace's hair as she passes. your nephew has climbed into your lap, playing with the string of your hoodie.

"so," you begin, "when does he move in? do I need to get the bedroom ready..or?" you tried not to make yourself seem to eager to know. your brother couldn't know about your crush on his teammate.

"no no, i'll do the room. don't worry," john says, "he'll be moving in, probably in the next few days. I'll get everything ready when I get in."

you hold in a sigh. "okay, well, i'll let you go, I've gotta wake Axton up and help out with dinner."

"okay, I'll see you all in a bit. love you guys."

"love you," you say, "Jace say bye daddy." you hold the phone up to the little boys ear and he says just what you told him to. John and you laugh and then hang up.

yourself and aryne get dinner started after axton woke from his nap. aryne and you had always gotten along great, which is lucky considering she's married into the family. you're just glad she wasn't some stuck up girl like the kind of girls you'd grown up with. she was like the sister you've never had, which is why she could tell something was on your mind.

"you're quiet," she observes, slicing her knife through the carrot sticks. "you okay?"

"yeah," you say it too cheerful and immediately cringe at yourself, eyes not leaving the potatoes you'd been peeling. "just you know, nervous about the new...roomie. it's like college all over again," you try and laugh it off but aryne raises a brow.

"why would you be nervous?"

there really wasn't a point in lying to her. not only was she like a big sister but she acted like a best friend. "aryne I'm convinced i'm in love with him. he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen." you groan, hands falling into the pile of peelings in defeat.

"oh god," she says. she puts her knife down as jace and axton run through the kitchen giggling. "boys! no running please."

"Don't tell john," you say. "It's nothing serious - just a crush!"

"You know me," aryne says, hand on her hip. "our secrets stay our secrets." she goes back to her chopping. "besides," you look towards her with raised brows, "he's a cutie, maybe you guys will -"

"enough!" you throw a peel at her.

"hey!" johns voice calls through the house, and the sound of four feet running towards him can be heard. baby rae giggles and coos in her high chair as your brother enters the kitchen.

"hey," he repeats, kissing aryne on the lips and squeezing your shoulder on his way past. "what are you two gossiping about,"

"nothing," you say, putting the potatoes in the pot as you and aryne begin boiling the soup.

—

matthew had moved in a week ago. you were right, jace and axton adored him. so did you but you didn't mention that to anybody except aryne and only after two glasses of wine.

you're sure he is actually the sweetest guy like ever. not only does he treat your nephews and niece with the most gentle care, but he has so much love and respect for your brother and sister in law for letting him stay in their home. aryne says she sees him looking at you often, but you don't believe her. matthew was just as lovely when he spoke to you at home and at work - which is weird saying 'see you at home' to two leafs now - but you digress.

It was wenesday morning practice, and you were working. it was question day, so last night around midnight when you happened to remember - you grabbed the bristol board and sharpie and wrote: 'who's your celebrity crush?'

you stood near the entrance of the rink, cup of hot tea in your hands, with the board propped up against your legs. your co - worker, maddie, was holding the work phone, ready to record the players heading onto the ice, answering the prompt as they came from the locker room.

morgan rielly came first and chuckled at the sign.

"cmon mo, give us an answer," you laughed along with him.

he hummed for a moment but settled on, "megan fox."

you and maddie were getting a lot of the same answers, megan fox or margot robbie with an odd ball thrown in every now and then.

"here we go," you laughed knowingly as mitch marner slowed down to read the sign. he dropped his head back in defeat, "can I say my fiancé?"

you groaned, "mitch no."

and then you noticed another body slow down and read the sign as well. you tried not to blush when you smelt the cologne on matthews neck, a dead giveaway that it was him.

mitch rubbed his jaw, "you guys make these too hard," mitch concludes, "you're trying to put me in the dog house."

matthew laughs and your knees get weak.

maddie scoffs, "it's not hard, you're just difficult."

"exactly," you agree.

"alright, let me see the phone," mitch grabbed the cellphone, directing it in your direction, a giggling maddie behind mitch's shoulder. "alright, kniesy , get your interview pants on."

and matthew goes along with it. you didn't think he was comfortable enough - too shy maybe but no. he held a fake microphone towards your mouth and asked "who's your celebrity crush, Ms. Y/N Tavares?"

you felt your face wanting to get hot and you internally scolded yourself. "oh you know.."

"it's not difficult," mitch mocks you and matthew laughs.

you grab the non existent microphone, which just ends up with you pulling Matthew's glove closer to your face, holding his hand in place. "oh my god, It's Dylan O'brien you freaks." matthew laughs as he looks down at you. "now let me do my job and ask you the questions."

mitch gives a laughing maddie the phone back as william nylander walks out, followed by john. your brother barley stops to look but laughs, walking away as he calls out his answer.

william ponders briefly but says, "madison beer." mitch sucks in air fast, "good one!" mitch starts to walk away, "i'll say margot robbie!"

"boring!" maddie shouts with a laugh.

matthew stands with his hand on his hips and takes a deep breath but then he just like, walks away which is...rude.

"hey," you say, "are you going to answer?"

he looks back with what looks so be a slight smirk, "I can't tell - it's a secret!" and you swear you see him wink at you, but based on maddie's reaction of turning to you all wide eyed and open mouthed - you are certain matthew knies definitely winked at you.

—

matthew was sitting on the family room couch, scrolling through his phone as you came down the stairs. at the sound of your foot steps, he looked up and towards you, a small smile overtaking his lips.

you sent him a closed mouth smile back. "hey."

"morning," matthew said. he couldn't help but notice how fresh you looked. you had just showered and gotten ready, and matthew was smitten at the smell of your strawberry honey shampoo mixed with whatever sweet fragrance you sprayed on.

"are the kids up yet?" you didn't hear them, so you knew the answer already.

"don't think so," he hums, "just us so far."

you nod in agreement. "well, I was gunna head for some tims coffee before anybody had woken up, but, I mean, did you want to come with me?"

he was up off the couch before you could finish, "yeah." he said it so casually and the way he whipped on his hat so perfectly and grabbed his keys was just....ugh.

you two made small talk until you were both seated and buckled into matthews car. he passed you the aux cord wordlessly, which was just, wow. you bit your lip to stop yourself from smiling too hard and took the cable from him, hitting shuffle on your playlist.

"so," he started, pulling out of the driveway, flicking on his signal for the passing cars on the street. "how long have you been working for the team?"

he glanced at you quickly before pulling onto the street, the gps pulled up on his phone between his (massive thighs) legs, letting him know where to go.

"probably about a year now...and maddie joined me about 3 months ago. she's great and has helped a lot." after all, what if matthew wasn't winking at you but maddie - what if all this time he's been trying to get know maddie. how humiliating would that be - god he probably doesn't even think -

"do you like it?" matthew brought you out of your depletion. the way he had said it was almost like he could read your thoughts and he was telling your brain to shut up.

matthew didn't know you were johns sister when he first met you. not until you were introduced as so. sure, you both had dark hair and the same eyes, but you were a girl and matthew was clueless so why would he assume that the girl who thought was the most beautiful woman he's ever seen was related to his new captain.

it wasn't until auston matthews said, "have you met johns sister yet?"

"I don't think so," matthew said, "was I supposed to?" he had been confused because why would johns sister be there.

"our social media girl? you know, the hot one with dark hair." auston said it so nonchalantly but matthew felt his face drop. it couldn't be.

"fuck." was all he could say because fuck was right. he was lusting over his captains sister.

"yeah, I love it actually," your answer to his question snapped matthew out of his thoughts. "everybody is so lovely, and the friendships i've gained with the guys, it's amazing...even when mitch drives me up the wall."

he could just tell by the tone of your voice that you truly loved working for them. his phone alerted him they were two minutes away from tim hortans.

"the guys like having you around," matthew says. "or at least I do anyways, It's nice."

"thanks. means a lot." you look over at him and admire his side profile. he is so handsome. the music stops and changed over to the next song. with furrowed brows, matthew glances to the screen and then smirks. "big swiftie?"

you were kinda shocked that's what he said first and didn't slander her. "yeah," you said carefully. "are you?"

he laughed, "duh."

you gave him a skeptical look as the car pulled into the entrance of the coffee shop. he glanced over and saw your face in disbelief and rolled his eyes playfully.

you laughed out in shock, "hey! you can't blame me for being skeptical."

"you're right," he surrenders one of his hands, the other using the wheel to steer them into a parking spot (which was super hot.) "what If I told you i'm in my 1989 era? would you believe me?"

he unbuckled his seatbelt and you stared at him fondly. a look that had matthews stomach doing flips. "yeah. i'd believe you."

"good." he jumped out of the car and rounded to your side to open the damn door like some gentleman and you swooned. a swiftie and opening the door? was he just full of green flags? "you're definitely in your lover era," he states, "the vibes are too strong for any other era."

you laughed. "lover is great."

and when you both made it inside and started the order, you felt like crying when matthew ordered timbits for the kids, got john and aryne a drink and asked what you wanted and then payed for it all wordlessly - you swore you were in love.

as you waited for the drinks you could feel matthews eyes looking down towards you, because hell he was tall and had no choice but to look at the top of your head. "do you always get that drink?"

you rolled your head back to look into his eyes and nodded. "yeah, you can try it if you want."

"i'll stick to my hot drink," he smirks. "hot coffee over cold all day."

you have him a perplexed look. "what?! you're wrong."

"I'm not!" he laughs, moving to grab the tray of beverages as the teen calls it out from behind the counter. "my taste it clearly superior if we're even having this conversation."

you chuckle, "sure big guy."

back in his vehicle, your music resumes from where it left off, the stunning cords of corniela street flowing through the speakers once more.

"that would be a good question for your account." Matthew starts and you raise your brows in question. "ask the boys what their favourite Taylor swift song is? I bet the fan girls will love it - mitch too."

you think it actually would be a good question and take a mental note. "I agree."

__

It was after a team breakfast when you chose to go around with your mini - microphone to ask the boys questions for this weeks video. the team was all dressed comfortably, which is a nice change for the feed, most of them happy and full of delicious food so it was easy to get them to comply for the video.

It was just you today, maddie had the day off so you went around with your phone in one hand, paperwork under one arm and mini mic in the other hand.

"nick, what's your favourite taylor swift song?" nick robertson looked at you with raised eyebrows. he kissed his teeth and his hands on his hips before leaning down to the microphone.

"anti - hero." you thanked him and he laughed. "was that a good answer?"

you smiled, "yes."

and you kept moving, asking any player who you laid eyes on.

"joseph, what's your favourite taylor swift song?" "love story"

"willy, what's your favourite taylor swift song?" "look what you made me do."

"mitch, what's your favourite taylor swift song?" "my fiancés is cardigan so cardigan."

"auston, what's your favourite taylor swift song?" you asked the forward, with a smirk on his lips he looked down at you.

"I don't know any." he was teasing you, obviously.

"yes you do," you laughed, "think hard."

"I am."

matthew could hear your laugh from across the room and his eyes landed upon you and auston. he was looking at you with a look that Matthew didn't like and you were laughing at what he was saying and that made him feel a bit...funny.

before he couldn't even think about what he was doing, he marched over there, abandoning his conversation with kerfoot and joining you and auston.

"hey," matthew says. "are you doing questions today?"

and just like that, you smiled that bashful smile and your cheeks got warm and matthew felt good.

"yeah!" you said, microphone swiveling towards matthew as you captured the two of them on video. "matthew, what's your favourite taylor swift song?"

he smiled and wanted to scream. you had used his question. it filled him so much joy and pride because auston may find you hot and make you laugh but you were using his questions and blushing at him.

"well, y/n," matthew started, taking the mini - microphone from your hands and bringing it to his mouth. you giggled. like an actual little girl. "my favourite taylor swift is cornelia street."

you spit thickened and you felt like you couldn't swallow. oh, you think, that's the song you had played in the car when he proposed the question. it was so...sweet.

"mines probably you belong with me," auston speaks and you have to blink hard because you forgot the goal scorer was even there.

matthew was looking at you with a look that makes you hot and bothered. you're sure now, this isn't been in your head. he was flirting.

"thanks, yeah," you take back you're microphone, "thanks. I better go ask o'rielly the same question, he looks left out."

and then you just left, matthews eyes burning into your retreating figure.

you were so screwed.

—

after that video went out, fans were absolutely loving matthew knies. and fair enough, you think. he was especially popular with the leafs female audience, and once again, you couldn't blame them.

fans wanted more matthew knies - they loved him and loved when you posted videos with him or about him. you also happened to love it too so it was a win win.

"it'll be quick!" you say quickly, "don't you want me to succeed at my job? give me content." you pass your brother the phone.

matthew laughs at your words and you smile.

"do you think you have the idea of it john?" you and already explained when to stop the audio and when to pan to who about 8 times now.

"yeah, yeah." he says. "why can't I be in the video?"

"well one, the audio is only two people," you point out, fixing your hair, "and two, the fans love matthew. you're outdated old man."

your brother laughs.

"okay, ready?" you ask matthew.

he crosses his arms and it makes his chest look even broader. "oh yeah, y/n/n, cmon now."

john doesn't catch on to the lovetseuck look you're definitely giving his teammate - thank god. probably too busy thinking over his instructions again.

"okay, john," you say.

the tiktok starts and the audio begins. you instructed him to focus on you for the first portion. you begin lip syncing to emma chamberlains met gala interview with jack harlow.

"i'll see you in there,"

video stops. you tell him to pan to matthew then, who delivers his line perfectly in your opinion.

"cant wait. love you, bye."

he chuckles when the video stops and you can't help but smile at him. you tell john that both you and matthew will be in the next shot.

"love you," you lipsync with a smile and as instructed, matthew walks out of view, and the last seconds of the video you give a shocked look to the camera - playing out the original interview clip perfectly.

matthew laughs and you and john join him. "ugh, perfect."

john gives you a high five and moves to collect his bag out of the trunk of his vehicle.

matthew joins you as you watch the tiktok over. his body is warm against your back, breathing soft and it tickles your exposed neck, making your stomach tingle.

"they'll love it," you say, "my bosses and the fans."

"how could they not?" he says, eyes looking into yours. "we killed it. you killed it, like usual."

"don't praise me matthew it turns me on." you say before you can even think of who you're talking to. what the fuck, your face drops, why did I say that? "I mean -"

matthew looks at you with a look you can't quite decipher and then he says, "good." he smirks and just leaves, grabbing his bag and walking into the players section of the arena with john. leaving you dumbfounded.

after making sure the audio was properly synced up and that everything looked okay, you posted the tiktok to the maple leafs account with the caption: when the knies/tavares household pulls up for work.

your favourite comment was one you found that said they shipped you and matthew - but you kept that information to yourself.

—

matthew couldn't help but glance at you discreetly once again. he had actually lost count of all the times he found himself admiring the side of your face, only lit up by the movie playing infront of you.

he was slightly smirking when you looked over at him, "matthew, pay attention." you scolded, pulling the blanket up to your chin and rolling towards him on your side. you weren't touching, but the heat of his body made you shiver.

"sorry," he breathes, eyes moving back to the movie.

"I can't believe you've never seen this before, It's a classic." you stated.

"I don't usually like romance movies," matthew says.

you sit up slightly, "how to loose a guy in 10 days isn't just a romance movie," matthew laughs as you try and mimic his voice, "it's funny and unique and creative and- ugh, just look-" you are distracted by Matthew McConaughey teaching Kate Hudson how to ride a motorcycle. "if I was that annoying and somebody still fell in love with me, I'd be smitten."

"you are that annoying," matthew is giving you a look when you scoff and roll your eyes at him. just then the two of you are both laughing, matthews head falling to your shoulder.

"I can't believe you," it's a whisper as it leaves your lips, eyes downcast as you look into matthews eyes. his head is still on your shoulder, looking up at you like a giant puppy dog. "i'm not annoying."

he smirks and you have to refrain from kissing him. "you're not annoying, no."

you smile triumphantly before pushing his head off you softly, to which it's his turn to scoff into the dark room. "rude."

"you love it."

"i do," matthew says back. he watches your face heat up as you try and keep focused on the tv. he's in trouble.

__

you had always found him attractive, but something about him helping the kids make mini pizzas had you wanting to fuck the shit out of matthew knies.

he was so gentle with the boys, and you're heart just melted everytime.

john and aryne had gone out for the night for a date - which was much needed. the leafs had an off day, which was rare, so you made your brother and his wife take the time and focus on them - with the promise you and matthew would watch the kids. well, you promised you watch the kids. you told matthew he should go out with hang with his friends but he declined. 'I'd much rather stay here with you...and the kids of course'

oh okay matthew i'll just fall more in love with you.

"wow, jace look at your pepperoni smiley face!" you're holding rae as you praise your nephew and he giggles, showing you his little teeth. "is it ready for the oven?"

"yes," jace said.

"okay, hold my hand to get down." his little palm grabbed yours and he slid off the kitchen chair.

"matthew, is axton almost done?" jace pulled on the leg of matthews sweat pants with a giggle.

matthew looked down and laughed at the kids sweet expression, "just about buddy."

you rounded the island to looked at your other nephews pizza. "wow!" you smiled and axton gave you a toothy grin.

"axton wanna show your aunt how you put the cheese on?" matthew asked him and you gave an encouraging nod when the blonde looked back up at you.

his chubby little fist grabbed a handful of shredded mozzarella and let it fall on the pizza with a laugh.

"good job baby!" you said, ruffling his hair. "is it ready to go in the oven?"

"yes," he gurgled.

"alrighty," matthew picked him up, swinging his little body out of the chair and placing his feet on the ground. "let's get these in the oven, don't touch okay guys. it's very hot."

"listen to matthew - I gotta put your sister down for bed, okay? i'll be back soon" you told them and they nodded. matthew watched your retreating figure with a grin on his face. he had put the two pizzas in the oven and sat with jace and axton in the living room. the boys were playing with toy cars and then suddenly jace bounced over onto matthews lap with a cheeky grin.

"what's up dude?"

"do you love my aunt y/n?"

"what?" matthew asked, tickling his stomach to make the boy laugh. "where'd you learn that from?"

"I learned from mommy." he said. "she says to aunt y/n that you love her."

oh, he thinks, am I that obvious about my feelings.

"i love everybody in this house. even you jacey." matthew says and jace, satisfied, leaves his lap, playing with his toys again, the only sound being the toy car wheels running on the hardwood floor and the hum of the over cooking the pizzas.

matthew thinks about you then, and how perfect you are. your smell, your smile, you're body...he needs a cold shower and a reality check.

later after you ate dinner and put the boys to sleep, you and matthew were busy in the kitchen. matthew was putting away pizza toppings and wiping down the counter top while you were elbow deep in soap suds.

you heard matthew chuckle to himself and you quirked an eyebrow, looking over his shoulder.

"what's so funny over there?"

he looked up at the sound of your voice and shook his head. "nothing, just -" he collected a handful of dirty dishes left over on the island and brought them over to the filled sink. "-earlier, jace asked me If I loved his aunt y/n."

your hands stopped scrubbing the plate you were working on, looking up towards him on your left. he was leaning his hip against the counter, arms crossed as he watched you.

"oh, god," you chuckled breathlessly. "sorry, he's just, curious."

"I don't mind, really." matthew says it quick and it makes you swallow hard. "At least he doesn't think I hate you...which is good. because I don't."

"right," you laughed, "I don't hate you either."

he looks at you all soft and you just want to grab his face with your hands, soap and all, and kiss him.

"y/n..." his arms uncross and it looks like he's about to reach out and touch you. "I've been waiting-"

the code beeps at the front door. "we're home." aryne says, smile happy and cheeks warm. stomach full of one glass of wine...or two glasses.

you try not to let your face show disappointment as matthew does the same.

"the kids go down okay?" john asks, tossing his keys on the counter.

"yeah," you clear your throat, eyes darting back to the sink. "everything is great."

"thanks again," aryne says, hugging your waist from behind. "you guys are the best."

"of course." matthew said. you glanced at him softly out of the corner of your eye, but he was already looking at you.

—

with the playoffs, it was harder to get content like you usually strive after. the boys were busy with extra practices and they were extremely focused on trying to win games - which, you know, was good.

so you got the most content with fans before the games, taking pictures and videos for the account - which was just as fun.

the guys rocked the first round and you texted matthew every night when they were in tampa, congratulating him on his goals and the teams performance: you tried not to scream of joy when he had sent back the kissing face emoji.

fast forward to a rather difficult round two. thankfully the leafs had pushed it to a game five, which was...good you suppose but still nerve wracking nonetheless.

you had been standing with aryne when it happened. often when you worked, you tried to join aryne and the kids during the warm up to capture some family content for the page. you were entertaining jace as the boys played, your eyes weren't even watching the ice or anybody but then the crowd stood in a rather negative uproar - and not the kind of disappointment when flordia scored a goal - it was different.

"oh no," aryne winced and your eyes shot up, seeing matthew laying on the ice looking rather...uncomfortable.

"what's happening?" you asked her. the trainer had reached matthew and was speaking to him with a hand on his back.

"he kinda got...slammed down. his head hit the ice."

it took a few minutes but he slowly got up, but had headed straight down to the tunnel. the game resumed but you had been too distracted by what happened to pay attention. 20 minutes passed and he still hasn't returned, which wasn't good.

"maybe you should go check on him?" aryne suggested.

you stopped biting at the skin of your thumb. "no, i'm okay." you said it quick and not even you were convinced at your own words.

aryne sighed. "y/n..."

you didn't budge.

"he doesn't have any family here besides us...I'm worried too and axton keeps asking about him - and I can see that you're stressed. go."

you took a moment but nodded in agreement, "okay, yeah," you grabbed your pass around your neck as a nervous habit, "yeah, are you okay with the kids?"

"of course," she said.

"I'll text you."

It didn't take long to reach the assessment room. that's where you found matthew and the team doctor and trainers. they turned at the sound of you entering the room and the trainer sent you a tight lip smile. the doctor was doing another test on matthew but you could tell by his eyes. something was wrong.

"is he okay?" you asked billy, the usual trainer, in a whisper.

"concussion for sure," he sighed, "even if the season keeps going, he won't be able to play."

you felt like crying for him. his nhl dream is cut short for the season. "oh." you whispered.

"y/n?" matthew asked. you tucked some hair behind your ear and moved towards him.

"hey.." you sat down in the stall next to him. billy was directed by the doctor to speak outside, giving you and matthew a moment alone. "how are you feeling?"

"like shit," he sighs, head falling back against the stall. "This sucks." you think you see his lip quiver and that makes your heart ache.

"It does," you agree, placing a hand on his knee and rubbing it soothingly.

"how come you came down here?" matthew asked, "i'll be fine."

you shake your head and look down, tears collecting in your waterline. "oh you know...the boys were wanting me to check -" you look up towards his face and he looks at you so concerned - the guy with the concussion was looking at you like he was concerned about you.

"I was so worried." you admit finally, tears welling in your eyes. "i'm just...sad for you."

"don't cry," he says softly, "I don't want you to be worried about me. I'll be okay." he tucks a piece of hair being your ear, hand trailing down your pleather jacket. "I mean, I got a killer headache but it'll go away," you gave him a look. "besides, if you worry too much you'll give yourself a stroke and then our new social media manager won't be you and then I can't flirt." he was trying to be funny.

"don't crack jokes," you try and scold him, "it's not funny." you can't help but smile though.

his fingers play with your keycard around your neck. "I feel better seeing you though. anytime I see you I automatically just feel like 100 times better."

"matthew," you whisper, "you're too concussed to be flirting like this."

"yeah, but," he grabs your cheek softly, "I mean it. y/n, I really like talking with you, and flirting with you, and hanging out with you. the other day in the kitchen...I was going to tell you but then your brother came in- I know I like you."

you smirked, "like as a friend or.."

"shut up.." he mumbled through his grin.

you kiss him, gently as you didn't want to shake his brain anymore than it's already been shook. his lips carefully move against yours in a way that feels so soft and comfortable you could cry again. matthews hand drops from your face and down your chest, forearm wrapping all the way around your waist until he's pulling you to stand, dragging you towards him, slipping his thick leg between both of yours.

he grunts out and the buzzer goes off throughout the area, signalling the end of a period. reluctantly, you pull away, hands caressing the side of his face. "did that hurt your head?"

the way you ask it so genuinely makes matthew feel like he's healed. he smirks lazily up at you, "no -i'm feeling really good."

the door clicks, signaling its being opened and you jump away from him, running a hand over your hair in attempt to look natural- and if matthew had to cover his crotch that was nobody's business. 

later after a disappointing end to the game, successfully ending the leafs season, you all made it home. aryne had ordered pizza as john said he wanted something greasy - which was nice. the entire time at the table, you kept catching matthews eyes, to which he'd smirk and look away. you're positive your cheeks were permanently red for the duration of dinner.

and when you slipped your foot up matthews leg and he had to cough to cover his gasp, well, you couldn't help but smile cheekily to yourself.

you were laying in bed. glancing at the clock at the top left of your phone screen you groaned put. 1:38 a.m.

without thinking much of it, you opened your text messages.

y/n tavares

you can't tell john

his replay came almost immediately.

matthew knies

I won't

matthew knies

why are you still awake?

y/n tavares

just been thinking a lot

y/n tavares

why are you still awake. you aren't supposed to be on your phone

matthew knies

🤷. it's my hourly wake up. aryne was just in here to check on me

matthew knies

why's got you thinking so much that you can't sleep?

y/n tavares

you honestly

matthew knies

me…why?

y/n tavares

because we kissed

matthew knies

<3

—

the next morning was quiet. everybody woke up around 9, even the kids which was nice. you all had breakfast together not long after waking, and then right around lunch, john and aryne took this kids to aryne's mom's, leaving yourself and matthew alone.

you walk down the staircase after returning from your room, pulling the hoodie you had retrieved over your shoulders. matthew was sitting at the kitchen island, twidling with his thumbs. he wasn't allowed screen time for 72 hours because of his concussion, resulting in a very uneventful morning.

you smile softly at him as he meets your gaze, a sudden nervousness washing over you. I mean, you two like totally made out the day prior, and you hadn't stopped thinking of his lips since.

matthew was the same way. not a second had gone by without thinking of you and the kiss, hell, it was all he could really do without his phone - even after the texts he shouldn't of responded to anyways - he would do anything for you.

"hey," you start and he smirks lazily at you.

"hey," matthew repeats. the two of you hadn't had a moment alone since the kiss and suddenly everything felt really real.

you tug at the sleeves of your hoodie, sitting down at the empty barstool beside him. "how are you feeling?"

"better now that you're here." he says easily, leaning in closer to you. you blush under his intense gaze, biting your lip as you watch his eyes flicker down to your mouth and up again. "how are you feeling?"

you frown slightly, "I'm fine?" you laugh.

"I mean, like, since we kissed." you don't say anything at first so matthew continues, "I like you, like, a lot and everything I said last night...I meant. but I didn't even ask you how you were feeling or if you felt the same way. I just want to check on you."

oh, you think, that's actually really sweet. "matthew I haven't stopped thinking about you since the moment we met. I've had a crush on you like this whole time," you say shyly and matthews smirk grows, "I was so nervous when john told me you were staying here because I thought if you were around me too much you would get sick of me and then you wouldn't fall hopelessly in love with me," you laugh. "but i suppose I was wrong."

"you were definitely wrong," he agrees, tucking a piece fallen hair behind your ear. he moves down your body until he's interlocking fingers with the hand you had resting on the table and he squeezes it three times. "when I first met you, I didn't even know you were johns sister."

"no?"

matthew laughs, "no! and then auston asked if I had met johns sister. he said you were the hot one."

you laugh, "auston thinks im hot?"

"hey!" matthew laughs, "too late for that. anyways - I thought there was no way that the most beautiful girl i'd ever seen was the sister of my new captain. I thought there was no way that...this would happen."

he gestures between the two of you and you smile sweetly.

"guess i'm the luckiest guy in the world, huh."

"I think we both are pretty lucky," you slide off the stool, and matthew spreads his thighs as you move to stand between them, your hands wrapping around his neck as his rest on your lower back, dangerously close to the round of your ass.

matthew smirks.

"so," you state, "with that being said - I want you. like, all the time. even when you go back home, I don't want whatever this is to end."

"I don't want it to end," he agrees, "I want to like date the shit out of you."

you giggle and matthews heart flutters. you're so beautiful, he thinks.

"so you don't have like a girlfriend at home or anything?" you're joking but you do glance at him with a serious look and matthew's face drops.

"god no," he says, rubbing a hand over your ass. "and you don't secretly want auston right?" but he's truly joking and you roll your eyes playfully.

"nah, the guy I want is right here," matthew leans in and presses his lips to yours, squeezing you tightly and pulling your body closer to his. you sigh into it, fingers running through his hair.

"i'm going to miss you when you're gone," you say against his mouth.

"i'll miss you," he says quickly, "but in the mean time, i'll make sure to get as much as you as I can."

you lean in to kiss him again until your phone beeps with a text.

"it's john," you say, "he says there leaving now. they'll be home in 30."

matthew smirks, "mhmm what could we do for 30 minutes...?"

you giggle, running up the stairs towards your room, matthew following.

__

"mhmm, that feels so good." your words are a breathless sigh against the darkness of matthews bedroom.

his bright eyes flicker up to meet yours, his strong arms wrapped around your thighs as he spread your legs, giving himself free range to keep pleasing you.

once matthews concussion was cleared, he headed back home for a month to visit and catch up with his family and friends. that meant leaving you and your new relationship behind. he texted you constantly, so anytime john was near, you made sure the phone wasn't accessible to him.

both you and matthew were absolutely smitten for one another.

it was his first night back from his trip back home, and seeing him again for the first time made you horny - like, immediately. but of course, you controlled yourself around your family to keep the secret a secret. and you had controlled yourself for 10 long, excruciating hours. john and aryne had gone to bed around 9 and as soon as 10 was about to hit, you snuck down to matthews room.

so here you were, with matthews mouth working wonders on your pussy - the squelching of your wetness and breathy moans were the only noteble noises in the room. "fuck, matthew, keep doing that."

he groaned against you, and it had pushed you over the edge, cumming hard all over his face and his fingers he had buried inside you.

shirtless, he crawled up over your naked body, kissing your neck up to your face until you could taste yourself on him. "fuck," he said.

you pushed him onto his back, and he smirked, watching as you climbed on top of him. you pulled his cock out of his underwear, letting it slap hard against his toned stomach. using your slick, you coated his dick before using your hand to line him against your entrance.

you sunk down, moaning loud enough so that matthew had to cover your mouth with his big hand - which obviously turned you on more.

you started rolling and bouncing on his dick fast, gripping your tits as his free hand thumbed at your clit. "fuck, i'm gunna cum soon." he told you.

you moaned, "me too."

he smirked up at you all hot and sexy, "you gotta be quiet."

you smiled breathlessly, continuing to jump on him, taking all of him inside you. between your two bodies was soaked in your juices, making the noises in the room even more intense.

matthew grabbed your hips, flipping you onto your back without leaving your warmth, where's he started to fuck you at unfathomable levels, having your mouth hang open in a silent scream.

you were almost there, the coil in your stomach was about to snap until the light in the hallway flicked on. matthew stopped his movements, his one hand covering your mouth incase any noises slipped out.

his door was locked, of course, but what if. you start to pray it's somebody just using the bathroom but matthew starts to move inside you again, giving you a smirk. fuck, you think, this is so hot.

your eyes roll back and you grip his shoulder as you cum, tightening around his length as he plummets into you. out of the corner of your eye, you can see the light flicker off just as matthew shoots his load into you, effectively bringing your attention back to him. "ugh god." he says into your neck.

how the hell were you supposed to face anybody in the house tomorrow: how the hell were you going to walk after that.

__

you and matthew had a habit of discreetly slipping out to get the mail. you actually did always end up getting the mail - but it was never about that. you two just wanted to spend time with one another, away from prying eyes and questioning.

matthew's body was big and warm pressed up against yours. the heat of the setting sun was relaxing, setting the tone for when matthew could finally slip his hand into yours.

you sighed, head dropping to his shoulder as you approached the community mail box, about half a block away from the house.

"you okay?" he says softly and your heart just about wants to melt.

"yeah," you lean your head back to look at him, "I just needed this." you squeeze his hand to prove a point. "I missed you when you were gone."

"I missed you too," he stopped walked and wrapped you in a hug. "like, wayyyyy too much - I think I jerked off like 5 times-"

"ew!" you screeched out a laugh. "you're gross."

the ways he's smirking all hot and his tan skin and he's bulked back up already from the weight drop at the end of the season and it's just...so good. it gets even better when he kisses you, right in the middle of the sidewalk. and you think you want to marry him.

—

"anything exciting happen over the weekend?" maddie asked you, her soft lips tugged up in a knowing smirk. unlike the rest of the world, she knew about you and matthew and the blossoming relationship.

"nope," you say, setting up the daily question sign, along with your ring light and tripod: ready to capture the team.

"right..." she says, "so no...I don't know - 6 foot 3, hot, muscular, brunette hockey players pay your vagina any visits?"

"maddie!" you scold, "you're being too loud." you look around to make sure nobody was in earshot.

"what!" she laughs in defence. "it's like i'm watching a romance novel, I need to ask the right questions."

you start recording as the players exit the dressing room and make their way to the rink, passing you both, slowing down to read an answer the question provided.

"what's your favourite movie?"

you were getting a nice range of answers, which was good. from oppenheimer to when harry met sally - the boys did not disappoint.

you felt a nudge to your ribs from maddie, which made you raise your brows and look up from the work on the laptop. she gestured towards the players tunnel so you followed her eyesight, only to land on matthew walking out.

immediately, you felt hot, smiling as you made eye contact with him.

he smiled back, coming to a stop to read the sign. he walked closer until he was standing as close as he could to you with still being in camera view. "what's your favourite movie?" he asked you.

you suddenly became shy, tucking some curled hair behind you ear. "oh, I - I don't know."

"yeah, you do." he said immediately, that cheeky smile once again on his lips.

you looked up towards him gobsmacked, you you just knew maddie was watching you two with an open mouth and heart eyes. it's the way he was looking at you: so adoringly.

"probably how to loose a guy in 10 days." you say.

"okay mine too." he tells you and then directs his eyes to the camera. "how to loose a guy in 10 days."

and there's no way you can keep that interaction in the video and post it because the way he talks to you is so...hot.

"okay," you repeat back to him.

"okay," he says back, gloved fingers gently squeezing yours behind the bristol board before leaving you to stand alone, giddy as you watch him skate.

—

"careful, you're gunna get soap in my eyes," you scold matthew as his hands scrub your scalp with shampoo.

"close them then," he tells you and you gasp out a laugh, slapping his strong wet chest with your hand. he smirks, his fingers working wonders over your head, you eyes having no choice but to close in pleasure.

the two of you were taking advantage of the empty house, john away at an event for his foundation, aryne and the kids out visiting her parents and grocery shopping. as soon as the door clicked leaving the two of you alone, matthew practically raced you to the shower, stripping and stepping into the spew of water.

"alright, rinse." he tells you, directing you around to let the warm water wash away the suds.

"your turn," you say. you're stretching trying to reach the top of his head and he laughs down at you.

"having difficulty?"

you give him a look and it makes his smile wider. "help me," you eventually whine out. he obeys, his large hands wrapping around the back of your thighs, pulling you up to wrap around his hips.

as you begin to happily wash his hair, you feel his soft lips trail down your neck, down the valley of your breasts, and moving to take your nipple into his mouth.

"matty," your head falls back.

he stops, unwrapping your legs from his waist, placing you gently back on the floor. "I love when you call me that." your hearts swells at the look on his face, continuing to beat hard as he grabs your face and kisses you.

kissing matthew was always amazing. his lips were so plump and soft, making for the perfect make out everytime. what feels likes hours pass, his lips not once leaving yours. you swear if you looked down, your fingers would be pruned.

a soft knock on the bathroom door breaks you two apart and you gasp, slapping a hand over matthews mouth. he raises his eyebrows at you, unimpressed by your slap, but you ignore him.

"hello?"

"hey," aryne says on the other side of the door, "we're back."

"okay," you say, trying to ignore the way matthews big hands we're feeling you up.

"where's matthew?" his hands stop kneading your ass and he gives you a bewildered look.

"oh, umm, I think he's in his room." you say quickly.

"okay," she says, "I'm going to go see what he's feeling for dinner."

"no!" you say too loud and way too quickly. it has aryne frowning, hesitating by the bathroom door.

"no?"

you meet matthews eyes. "yeah, no. I think he's sleeping."

"okay," aryne doesn't sound convinced and that had you worried. "alright, well, i'm sure he won't mind whatever I decide."

"tell her i'm down for tacos." matthew whispers and you shush him.

"I think he mentioned something about tacos earlier, If that helps." you tell her matthews wishes anyways which earns you a cheesy grin from the man.

"okay," aryne says, "alright, anyways, I'll see you when you're done."

"yup," you say, listening to her footsteps as she walks away from the bathroom. immediately you groan, head falling to your boyfriends chest.

later after everybody has eaten dinner, the kids have been put to bed and matthew and john went downstairs to watch their highlights and game plays, you and aryne sat on the living room couch, cuddled up in pyjamas and glasses of wine: aryne sipping her red and you trying not to chug your white.

"so," her demeanour shifts from fun conversations and discussing what funny things the kids did at their grandparents to a more serious, inquisitive tone and immediately you feel worried. "how long have you and matthew been seeing each other?"

you spit your mouthful of wine back into your glass, sitting up in the couch a little straighter. "what," you splutter out, "I am not seeing matthew- I-Why would you even think that."

her face doesn't change, still the knowing smirk on her lips. "y/n, I'm not stupid."

"aryne - matthew and I - I don't even like him that much honestly," you try to be nonchalant, sipping your spat out wine with red cheeks.

"oh," she sits up, "so in the span of what, 7 months, you've gone from being totally smitten and in love to not even liking him?"

damn, she got you there. "yup." you lie, crossing your legs.

"please," she says. "also, you two weren't slick today."

you give her a look.

"I mean, at first I didn't think anybody was in the shower with you - but then when matthew had come downstairs form his 'nap' with damp hair - and smelling like your shampoo, I knew."

you didn't know why you wanted to cry. but you did, and when aryne looked at you again she frowned. "don't cry," she says, wrapping you in her sisterly hug. "why are you upset?"

"because," you sniffle, "you're right. we've been seeing each other since before the summer."

aryne laughs, "I knew it."

"how?" you say into her shoulder.

"y/n, he looks at you like you created the universe - like you could do no wrong. and you look at him the exact same. I just knew."

her words give you goosebumps - did he really look at you like that?

"you can't tell john."

she pulls back from your cuddle with raised brows, "you know me, y/n/n , cmon."

the two of you cuddled on the couch in silence after that, the proposal playing quietly on the tv.

"for what it's worth," aryne says after a moment, "I think matthews amazing, and you two are most definitely perfect. It makes sense. and I would never tell him, but your brother wouldn't be mad at you - he loves matthew, and he loves you."

"I know," you hum.

and that was it. the movie was watched until you both fell asleep under the thick knitted blanket you shared, cozied up on the couch, glasses on wine now empty and sitting on the coffee table.

john and matthew came upstairs, talking amongst themselves until they stumbled into the living room, going quiet at the sight of you two cuddled on the couch in a deep sleep.

"oh gosh," john chuckles quietly, moving towards his wife. "do you mind getting y/n to bed?" he asks matthew as he gently shakes his wife awake.

"sure," matthew says.

john wakes aryne, and she groans, letting her husband drag her to bed, nothing more than a quiet goodnight passing her lips.

as they left, matthew moves towards you with a full heart. your lips puffed out as your breathed, on the verge of a soft snore. he crouched down, a hand running over your hair to wake you gently.

your eyes flutter in confusion at first, but then they spot your boyfriend and you smile. "hi."

"hi." he says with the smirk you love so damn much.

"I fell asleep," you state, letting matthew sit you up.

"I can see that," he says, pulling you to your feet.

you naw on your lip as you two begin walking to your room. "aryne knows." you tell matthew.

"knows what?" confused, he questions you.

"about us." you clarify. something flashes on matthews face that you can't decipher. you think he may be mad, but then he breaks out into a grin. "why are you grinning like that?" you can't help but smile as well.

"that means you can sleep in my room tonight," he says, dropping you to his bedroom. "john and I will be leaving for practice, and aryne won't be confused why you aren't in your own bed - because she knows."

"you're right," you whisper, admiring how excited he was. "let's go to sleep then. take me to bed."

—

october 17th

it was late when john and matthew got home from their game, party decor from matthew's 21st birthday still hanging in the kitchen, cake still on the counter.

john had nodded a goodnight at the rookie, wishing him one more happy birthday before heading up to bed to join his wife in a deep slumber.

all the lights were off, saved for the one under the microwave...and apparently the backyard light, matthew notices, the warm glow illuminating the kitchen through the glass patio doors.

making his way over, he opened the door, peeking around the corner.

you were sitting on the patio couch, bundled up in your favourite oversized hoodie, and a pair of what matthew can tell are his sweatpants.

"hey," matthew whispers and you jump slightly, hand held to your chest.

"you scared me," you laugh. he shuts the patio door softly behind him, making his way over until he was sitting next to you. "i've been waiting for you."

"here I am," he smiles, bringing you into his chest. suddenly you are grabbing a throw blanket, tossing it over the two of you to protect you from the nippy october air.

"I had all these candles lit and was gunna order your favourite food and wear that set you like under my clothes and wear one of those coats, that you know, cover it, but then," matthew loved when you rambled, "the frickin wind kept blowing the candles out, and the thai placed was closed and well I got cold so I had to change out of the coat,"

you are wearing a slight pout and matthew just chuckles sympathetically, kissing the side of your head. "that's okay."

"I wanted it to be perfect for your birthday." you concluded.

"having you next to me is perfect enough," matthew admits and you look up at him softly.

he presses a quick kiss to your lips, leaving you hot and bothered when he pulls away. he really knows how to kiss. "I have one more gift for you," you smirk and matthew raises his brows.

"I don't need anymore gifts - oh," matthew watches as you sink to your knees infront of him, unbuckling his belt. he lifts his hips to help you pull his pants down his thighs, revealing his already semi hard dick in his boxers.

matthew shivers as you reach in with your cold hand and pull his dick out, it hardening completely at your touch. he groans when your tongue licks the underside of his dick, all the way up until you reach the head. you kiss the tip softly, licking the pre - cum from his slit. "fuck baby," matthew says.

you look up at him through your lashes, a smirk on your lips and matthew thinks he could cum right then and there.

you take him into your mouth, bobbing your head as you suck him off. your hands cover the portion of his dick your mouth can't reach, the combination leaving a hot wet mess on his dick. matthew is groaning, calling out your name until he's reaching climax.

"i'm gunna cum," he says and not a moment later, he's shooting his load in your mouth. you swallow all of him, sliding off his dick with a pop.

you giggle at his relaxed face, very much pleasured out. "happy birthday," you whisper, climbing on his lap so you are straddling him.

he grabs your hips and kisses you.

"did you like your gifts?"

"I did," he chuckles, "although the hoodie you got me may have some competition with the gift I just received," you blush and throw your head back with laughter.

he brushes his lips against your exposed throat and instinctively your hips roll against his crotch looking for friction. matthew moans again.

"i'm not fucking you out here, it's cold." you decide and matthew groans with disappointment. you laugh, hitting his shoulder. "i'll fuck you inside though."

"i'm sold," he says, picking you up off his lap and setting you on the ground. you grab his hand and he says, "earlier you said you had to change out of your coat..does that mean you're still wearing lingerie underneath these sweats?"

you give him a sultry look, "guess you'll have to find out."

"you're killing me," he says, letting you drag him back inside.

matthew is a very happy birthday boy when not 5 minutes later he sees you are still clad in midnight blue lacy garments. happy 21st birthday to him.

—

you had been intently trying to finish up some work on your laptop from the comfort of your own bed before the work day ahead - key word: trying.

not only were you tired (it was almost 1 a.m.) but you were grumpy because maddie was sick, so a bunch of extra work was dumped on you and your boyfriend wouldn't stop annoying you.

matthew wasn't even doing anything that outrages, just playing with your hair and kissing your neck and he kept trying to show you funny videos on tiktok that aren't even that funny.

he tickled your side and you pushed his hand away. "you're annoying me," you say.

he doesn't buy it, so he did it again. "pay attention to me," matthew all but whines and you have to refrain from snapping at him.

he wasn't even doing anything that annoying. in fact, if it was a regular day, you would welcome everything matthew was doing with open arms, happy that your boyfriend wanted your attention. but it wasn't a normal day, the stress of the work load slowly building.

"babe, you know I want to get this done and you keep distracting me! it's annoying." your tone was sharp, a warning.

"i'm not even doing anything that bad," matthew argues like a naughty toddler, sitting up so he can look right into your eyes.

the bar of your patience has overfilled, except you don't get angry - just overwhelmed: throat tightening.

when matthew sees your eyes start to get watery, he frowns, "hey, i'm sorry." he knows you've been stressed, with like...everything and that wasn't even including the stress of having a secret relationship, which was something he was apart in. "I didn't mean to annoy you."

you sigh, sniffling. "you're not even being annoying - it's just everything is stressing me out and overwhelming me."

matthew uses his thumb to wipes your tears. "I think you should take a break for the night. we can finish tomorrow, right?"

"yeah," you huff, wiping your eyes. "I didn't mean to snap at you. are you mad at me?"

"i'm not mad at you." he laughs because your question was, well,...ridiculous. he grabbed you, pulling you down to cuddle into him. a few minutes pass of him playing with your hair in a way that didn't annoy you, pressing kisses to your hairline that has a way of fluttering your eyes, sleep on your doorstep.

your almost sleeping when matthew speaks up.

"hey," he whispers. you look up at him with gentle eyes and he pauses briefly. "you're my best friend, you know that?"

you smile. "am I?"

"yeah," he says in a sassy tone that he does that drives you up the wall but you don't even care in that moment - because you have the sweetest guy ever. "besties." he mimics a typical girly voice that you can't help but roll your eyes playfully, "besties," you agree.

he smirks all hot and you feel it all the way down to your toes. when matthew lays you down on your back and slips his big strong hand underneath your waistband - you don't protest, suddenly wide awake.

__

seeing the other wives and girlfriends wearing WAG jackets while you didn't and couldn't was never a nice feeling. there's nothing you wanted more than to wear Matthews name on your back - but instead, you stood with the teams phone to capture moments for the account: very much jacketless.

you were taking a video of TJ Brodie's kids watch their dad excitedly, giggling happy as their dad passed you a puck through the camera hole for you to gift to them.

you beam down at the blonde kiddies as his wife tells their kids to wave to their dad when suddenly you see a maple leaf player slam their body into the glass beside you. looking up, you make eye contact with matthew.

he smirks, and you try not to seem to excited in the arena full of fans, your friends and your brother. you roll your eyes at him, waving the phone as to tell him you're working but he just rolls his eyes playfully back at you. he does a couple warm ups in-front of you, which you record, because hey, it's good content.

he uses his stick to pick up a puck, gesturing you to open the camera hole. which, you do, of course. he puts his hand through, holding out the puck for you to take.

"why are you giving me this?" you ask him.

he shrugs, "just giving back to my fans."

you laugh sarcastically, taking the puck and shoving it in your jacket pocket. "how kind."

he winks before skating away.

unbeknownst to the two of you, john watched the interaction from the blue line as he was stretching, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. since when have the two of you...sure, you'd always been nice and civil to one another, friends even, john would say. but there was something on matthews face as he skated away from you that had johns heart strings being pulled.

inbetween periods, matthew had pulled out his phone, which he thought he did sneakily, and smiled at his screen, typing out a message. john couldn't help but think he was texting you - but, no, because he had to be imagining it. there's no way that the two of you have been building and involved in a romance - in his own house, at his work, that he didn't know about.

but then, at the end of the game, in the players tunnel we're you'd usually wait for them, john couldn't help but notice your face light up when you saw his teammate, and the way you squeezed his arm, congratulating matthew on a good game: john was pretty much convinced.

later that evening, him and aryne stood in their on suite, brushing their teeth as they two of them got ready for bed. john spit out his last bit of toothpaste and turned toward his wife.

"have you noticed that matthew and y/n have been...I don't know...extra friendly?"

aryne spit out her own toothpaste and giggled.

"what's so funny?" john asks her. "am I just going crazy? is that why you're laughing?"

"no, no," aryne reassures him, "you've just now noticed that matthew and y/n have been flirting?"

and john is taken aback for a moment and suddenly, anything you and matthew have ever done together, and they way you both speak to one another, always ending up sitting next to one another, hell, even the way you looked at each other...oh. "I guess I have noticed." he says momentarily.

"good for you." aryne rubs some expensive moisturizer on her face.

"are they like...In love?" he asks with a funny look on his face.

"I'm not sure," aryne thinks, "but they are definitely having se-"

"okay! I don't need to know." john says. the two of them make their way into their bed. that makes him think back to about a month ago, when he saw you cooking the in kitchen.

"hey," john says, eyes trained on his cellphone as he walks into the kitchen, back from morning skate.

"hi," you and aryne had said in sync. his wife hovered over the stove, cooking eggs and bacon while you stood at the island, chopping fruit.

he looked up then once he heard his daughters giggle, he smiles as he watches you pass her some fruit, the baby as happy as ever getting attention from her aunt.

but then - "is that matthews shirt?"

you looked up with wide eyes because yes, it was. "oh," you look down at yourself, "yeah, I didn't even realize."

suddenly aryne piped up, "I think i mixed up the laundry. I thought it was a sleep shirt."

if john saw the exchange the two woman gave each other, he didn't say it.

you definitely knew that was his shirt, john is sure if it now. with his arms behind his head, he breathes deep. "why haven't they said anything?"

"what do you mean?"

"like...if their dating, or in love - not just hooking up. why have they kept it a secret?"

"I don't know honey," aryne rubs a hand over his chest and he closes his eyes. "they were probably scared. I mean Matthew probably didn't want you thinking that you've gone out of your way for him, letting him stay here and he repays you by banging your sister -"

"aryne!" john says and she giggled.

"and y/n - she doesn't want to upset you."

"she could never upset me." john says immediately. "If they are dating...well, Matthews a good kid. he's the best possible guy for her - I don't want her to feel like she has to hide it from me."

"you should tell her," aryne flicks off her bedside lamp, letting the room become overcome with darkness. "they're cute - we should let them do their thing."

"yeah, i'll talk to them tomorrow."

the next morning, you and matthew had been cozied up on the couch. any opportunity that the two of you had in the early morning to be cuddly while everybody else was sleeping, you and matthew took.

matthew had been whispering something into your neck, making you squirm and giggle when footsteps were heard bounding down the stairs, making you and matthew scrambled apart just as john rounded the corner.

he had a look on his face you couldn't quite figure out - he almost looked...in pain but also uncomfortable but at the same time happy.

"hey," you start in hesitation, "what's going on."

he shifts awkwardly before moving to sit on the love seat. "you guys can like...continue whatever you were doing. like cuddling or whatever."

you are sure matthews eyes are as wide as yours. "what?" you ask, your tone of voice perfectly depicts your level of shock.

"I know you guys are...doing stuff." he gestures weirdly in between your bodies.

"oh my god." you cover your face. this is like having the birds and the bees talk with your parents - expect it's with your brother and your boyfriend is also there to hear it. "doing stuff? what?" you repeat.

"listen, I'm not mad."

you look up towards john with raised brows. "you're not?" matthew says before you can.

"no, god- " john leaves forward so his elbows rest on his knees, "matthew you are the nicest guy ever. you are great with my kids, and you'd be a great...are you guys like dating or is is strictly just -"

"dating." you say loud and quickly.

"you'd be a great boyfriend, especially to my sister." john continues.

"I didn't want you to think that, I don't know, you've gone out of your way to bring me into your home, and i've repaid you by sneaking around with your sister." matthew says sheepishly. aryne was really on the nose with that one.

"I don't think that." he says immediately and you can feel matthew sigh in relief beside you.

"and y/b, I could never be mad at you. you're an adult and i'm your brother, I don't control you, nobody does. I just wish you didn't feel the need to keep it a secret."

you wanted to cry because you really loved your family. 

"I just didn't want you to treat matthew any differently."

matthew looks at you with a look of confusion. he didn't know that, he just thought you didn't want john to know - not that you were trying to protect him. "really?" he asks you.

"yeah." you whisper.

"I wouldn't of," john says. "i'll still treat you the same." john watches your face relax at his words and it fills him with a nice feeling.

"alright," john says, hitting his knees and standing up like a typical dad, "so you two can get back to cuddling or...whatever, just don't french infront of me."

matthew laughs loud beside you and your mouth drops in shock. "french? who says french. you...old man."

john laughs as he walks away, leaving you and matthew alone once more. almost immediately, matthew wraps you in a hug, pulling you down on the couch.

"this is good, right?" he asks you gently, hand gently tracing your face. his eyes are so soft that you can't help but smile.

"yeah," you say back, letting matthew kiss you gently on the lips.

the sound of four tiny feet come bounding down the stairs, making you pull apart before the kids jump onto the two of you, laughing, begging matthew to turn on Bluey before breakfast. you watch in admiration as he interacts with them, and everything feels good.

—

christmas was approaching- way too fast for you liking. this time of year was only hectic in the Tavares home - that wasn't even including the load of extra work you needed to complete for upload during the small holiday break provided by the NHL.

matthew had the 22nd off (as the team had played their last game the day before) and suggested the two of you head out to do some last minute shopping - which was a relief because in all your work stress, you've barley had time to shop for anybody besides your boyfriend - so immediately you took matthew up on the offer.

the two of you had gotten into matthews car and headed downtown to begin the much anticipated long shopping day - hoping to check off your never ending list of presents.

a few hours after your arrival, matthew had grabbed the back of your neck, directing you in the direction of a hot chocolate stand, because 'you can't christmas shop and not get a warm drink' as he claims.

matthew had pretty much gotten everything he wanted to get for the family (his and yours) as did you, which calmed you down so much compared to your hectic stressed filled past couple days.

matthew had your hand wrapped in his large one, swinging them between your bodies as you made your last walk down the strip. you both sipped your hot chocolate carefully after matthew burned his lip on his, pouting until you kissed it better (you love your big baby).

you came up upon one of your favourite market stores. they always carried to most beautiful, antique looking items and most of the time you ended up loving something in the cute shop - and this time was no exception.

you had gasped slightly, your hand squeezing matthews as a reflex. "oh my god, how amazing." you were face to face with the most beautiful winter snow globe, filled with tiny fake snowflakes and a cute little village - it was right up your alley. "oh I love it."

you could feel matthews front press against your back, hovering over your shoulder to look at the antique. "it's nice." he agrees. matthew tugged your hand, "hey, I think I see Santa if you want to go sit on his lap and ask for it for christmas."

your head snapped back at him so fast your slicked back ponytail almost wiped him in the face. "ha ha, you're so funny."

he smirked in satisfaction at his own joke and tugged you into his side, kissing your temple - ignoring the way you swatted him away, claiming he was going to mess up your makeup.

__

christmas morning

a bunch of tiny knocks on your and matthews bedroom  door makes you groan out, eyes squinting to adjust to the dark bedroom.

a moment later the door opens, revealing the kids in their christmas pyjamas: eyes full of excitement.

"wake up aunt y/n!" jace says, jumping up onto your bed. you sit up, nudging matthew as you rest against the headboard.

"matthew," axton's little voice whispers. "it's christmas."

"hey buddy," he whispers, picking up the blond boy and sitting him on the bed between the two of you.

"santa came!" Jace said excitedly.

"did he?!" you asked, "are you going to show us?"

"yeah!" the boys cheered, they had dragged matthew out of bed and downstairs quicker than you could put your robe on. aryne was waiting by the bedroom door with a cup of coffee, made the way you love it.

"good morning." she hums.

"hi," you say, taking the mug and wrapping your hands around it as the two of you descend down the stairs and into the warmly decorated family room.

"aunt y/n look at all the presents!" the boys say, practically vibrating as they resisted the urge to tear up all the wrapping paper in that very moment.

"wow!," you say with as much enthusiasm the early morning would let you, taking a seat beside matthew who immediately wraps his arm around you, bringing your body into his own. it wasn't long before you dragged a throw blanket over the two of you, cuddling into him tightly.

"alright boys, everyone's here you can start." john says, holding onto his daughter. the kids laughed loudly as they started, and you swear you've never felt excitement or happiness the way you did when wtaching your nephews open gifts.

the four of you helped all the kids open their gifts when needed, which was often because they wanted to play with every new toy they opened (which was so darn cute).

an hour or so of present opening had passed, leaving the kids to entertain themselves with their new toys from santa, while the four of you got to exchange gifts with one another.

you tore open your gift from aryne, opening the white box to reveal a demin jacket with a bunch of leaf decals on it. you knew what it was immediately. "you didn't." you pull out the jacket to look at it fully, the back displaying exactly what you thought it would: Knies 23.

"oh my god," you laughed, "did you know?" your question was directed towards your boyfriend, who held his hands up in surrender.

"my lips are sealed."  he laughed as you hit his chest playfully, letting him kiss your cheek two times quick.

you couldn't help but feel giddy inside, and you bet your bottom dollar anytime you weren't working, you'd be repping your man on your jacket for the whole world to see. "I love it, thank you honey bunny," you give your sister in law a squeeze and she hugs back just as hard.

"alright, mine next," matthew says, handing you a neatly wrapped square box. you raise your brows in suspicion and start to unwrap it. "you didn't wrap this."

you knew him too well, matthew thinks. "just open it - don't jostle it around," he scolds before laughing.

"you're insufferable," you say. you are left with a plain white box, leaving you no option but to gently open the lid and - oh my god. "matthew..." you whisper, gently taking your gift out of its protective styrofoam. "you didn't."

"what is it?" john asks, trying to peek over your shoulder as he bounced baby girl.

"oh, it's beautiful," aryne says as soon as she gets a proper look at the gift, her hand held to her chest.

matthew bought you the snow globe. "the person at the cash wrapped it for me - she insisted. she's a sweet lady," matthew says.

you knew he didn't wrap it. "yeah, beth is a sweetheart."

"of course you know her name," matthew laughs. the four of you laugh at his comment before aryne jumps up, helping one of the boys build a toy, john walking off to grab a bottle for the baby.

you're still staring at the snow globe when matthew looks down at you. he smiles involuntarily, admiring the way you looked so content and happy. "merry christmas," he whispers.

you look him in the eyes and it's just like the first time you saw him. you have the biggest crush on your boyfriend. "merry christmas."

you are so in love.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

[badomensgoodomens]

Just Pretend

noah sebastian x reader (fluff)

( request stories/scenarios in my asks!!!!)

Noah had spent hours trying to get over you. you were his best friend, he didn't want to taint that.

he was slowly reaching breaking point, almost angry at the fact you were consuming his every being.

he released his anger on songs, and punching bags, however it quickly turned to sorrow.

the reasoning behind that, was these dates you were going on. they left you heartbroken and in despair by the end of the night. the whole band lived together, including your manager, and the walls weren't exactly thick enough to drown out your anguished cries.

it was after a very specific evening, he lost it.

your date had hurt you, a nasty bruise on your upper arm.

folio, whom he'd confided in multiple times, had to send him out, concerned he'd do something violent.

he came back, late at night, knocking softly on your door. you wipe your tears with your sleeve, your eyes puffy.

"come in.."

the door clicks open, he walks in.

he looks..

sweaty.

ew.

he shuts the door behind him, taking a deep breath in.

"are you okay?"

his voice is quiet, almost scared to hear the answer. you sniffle,

"y-yeah.."

he crosses the room, pulling you into a tight hug. "i'm sorry."

you shake your head, looking up at him.

"why are you saying sorry...?"

he looks down at you fondly, wiping your tears with the pads of his thumb.

"nobody is treating you the way you deserve, y/n."

you sniffle,

"i uhm..."

he clears his throat.

"i have a song to show you."

you wipe your tears, looking up at him with raised eyebrows. he takes your hand, leading you to his room. he sits you down in his chair, placing his headphones on your head. you watch as he presses play on an audio file labelled 'Just Pretend'

its a rough, acoustic version. something in earlier production. you take in his somber voice, and the lyrics.

you look up at him, wide confused eyes.

"is this.... who is this about?"

he goes a little shy, biting his cheeks anxiously.

"uhhh.... you..?" he answers, a little hesitant.

your eyes well up with tears.

"you wrote a song about me..?" you ask, affection racing through your veins, but you were also terrified.

"its you. its always been you." he whispers, taking your hands. he closes his eyes. you panic, why was he acting like this?

"youre all i fucking think about, its pathetic.I can't pretend i dont love you anymore. i tried not to indulge these thoughts, i tried to leave you alone. you're my bestfriend. i don't ever want that to change. and if i can't have you, id like to atleast let nick know i tried." his words are desperate, he clings to you like a lifeline.

your eyes are wide.

noah loves you.

noah loves YOU

NOAH loves you

noah LOVES you.

you swear your heart stops beating for a second. his words echo continuously through your mind. you almost didn't believe it.

"you love me..?"

your voice is timid and shy, a testament to the immense emotions playing through your head.

he pulls your head closer to his, resting his forehead against yours. his touch so gentle. he cares for you, more than hed like to admit.

"ofcourse i fuckin do, i fucking love you and its killing me."

you gulp. was this real?

"i-... uh..."

he cringes. almost flinching back.

"if you don't like me back we can pretend this never happene-"

panic courses through you, your only response is to pull him in for a tight hug. he hesitates, unsure of what this means.

"youre kidding.. tell me you're joking." you mutter.

he relaxes within seconds, squeezing you extra tight.

you pray he says the words you've been begging to hear for the past 4 years of friendship.

"im in love with you, and if you'll have me, id like to treat you the way you deserve."

--------------------------------------------

that is how you find yourself squealing in nicks room.

"oh my god nick!!!! ahhhhH!!! he asked me out!!!!"

nick laughs, noticing how oblivious you are to noah, whos leaning against the door frame, arms crossed.

eventually he chuckles, which makes you yelp. you throw a pillow in his direction, incredibly embarassed.

he chuckles again, crossing the room. he pulls you into his arms, his fingers digging into your side. you throw your head back in giggles, squirming. he hugs you tightly, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

"you're so sweet, baby."

you flush, not used to a nickname.

nick groans, regretting his endorsement of noahs confession.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

gang im trynna make these longer but my fingers are crampingggg

i wrote this in 20 minutes (i do this for all my drafts HAHA)

im not gonna edit this cause im lazy but enjoy cuties!!

give me ur feedback (but don't be mean im sensitive HAHA)

[crows-heart]

Howdy Pillar Headcanons :D

be aware this is my first time writing on tumblr so if its a tad odd in some places, i apologize :))) i should be doing my math work i missed or sleeping but guess what i wont

cw: staring mentions (?), howdy being cheesy, i think that's it? ( i do not know how to tag stories)

(look at the funky man!!)

Dating Howdy!!

i just KNOW this man loves to give hugs from behind

everytime you're doing literally anything that has you with your back exposed, he's going to pick you up

you could be in the middle of cleaning and next thing you know four limbs are wrapped around you and you're being picked up

he is both big spoon and little spoon, ignore the fact that he's like 7 foot/213 cm

if you don't like being hugged/touched, that's fine! he likes to make sure that you're comfortable with how he shows affection.

instead of hugging you, he tends to move things around to make it more accessible for you (especially if you enjoy cooking/baking, there are a lot of things in the howdy-sized cabinets but not the y/n-sized cabinets)

sometimes he does purposefully move things out of your reach to have you call him over for help so he can come bother you >:)

that is until you learned that you can climb on the counters... (as someone who is short, this is in fact the most effective way of getting things [dont do this])

he loves holding hands with you! regardless of whether you're in public or at home, he enjoys making sure that you don't get lost /j ("Its hard to see you all the way down there, neighbor!")

he is also a big fan of pinky holding <3

i hc him to have some anxiety issues, so this is a big reason why he enjoys holding hands/pinkys

it's become a big way to help him calm down, and if you start rubbing shapes (?) into his hand it makes things a lot better (he does it to you too <3)

after a long day at the bugdega (bodega? I've seen someone call it that so I'm calling it that bc it's funky!), he will fwump literally anywhere it is convenient for him to do so

let's just hope you're not on the couch/bed because you are a candidate for him to do so! (good luck)

he constantly is making sure that you're ok, mentally and physically! he is a great listener, and he gives great advice too.

everytime you try to help him out at the bugdega, he CANNOT focus

he will literally stare at you for ages until either you or a neighbor points out he's doing so ("howdy, are you ok?" "huh- oh yeah! it's just that you're really pretty...")

he also gives you an 100% discount if you agree to a kiss

either he's really cheesy, or he's reciting poetry to you, there is in fact, no in-between

"i love you berry much! *holds out a strawberry*"

"If i was to be given the option of eternal life, i would turn it down, for a life without you is not one worth living."

all in all, your relationship is berry sweet!! (help i regret writing that)

Being friends with Howdy!!

if YOU have chaotic energy, HE has chaotic energy

he could be cheerfully having an exchange with julie to chanting "thief" to wally in the corner with you (art idea??? might make this)

howdy is great at adapting to your current mood! if you're being funky and all gremlin-like, so is he! if you're tired or sad, he makes sure to give you your time and space to talk if you want!

regardless of this, he does give mother-friend energy

not in the sense of like making sure you're sunscreened, but just looking out for you and making sure you're ok :O)

he LOVES to spook you. regardless of how tall he is, he is in fact, great at sneaking around!

he is also good at being quiet on his feet, which does not end well when you're in the middle of doing something

i feel like he is genuinely a sweet guy, but when he's with friends, he's a totally different caterpillar

if tiktok existed then, you would constantly point at him and say "caterpillar" in that voice (y'know the one from the audio that everyone draws frank spying on howdy with [i absolutely love that audio])

HE KNOWS ALL OF THE GOSSIP OOH JUST YOU WAIT

"did you hear? frank and eddie are finally dating!" "HAH WALLY OWES ME HIS APPLE SUPPLY"

wally is definitely a part of your guy's shenanigans btw it's canon I'm howdys hat

if howdy needs something delivered (most likely wallys hairspray/apples) and eddie isn't available, he asks you! you're practically a second employee so you might as well ahshefs

you still get an 100% discount, since you know, you're kinda working there so that's fabulous!!

he's practically your babysitter at this point i just kinda imagine y/n being one of the leash kids

he can and will throw you on top of his shoulders, you think he's not buff under those sleeves? he has to carry around literal HUNDREDS of apples for wally pretty much everyday

i feel like he likes making things with his hands (I'm really projecting here arent i)

HE LIKES MAKING TINY THINGS OK OK GLAD WE CAN AGREE

random little figurines or things you enjoy will just appear. you have little to no clue where they came from but that's fineee

he knows some of the most obscure things, either about you, or anything really

he loves hearing people infodump about anything! he loves learning new things about people's special interests :D

at the end of the day, he appreciates being your friend so much! he's so glad he got to meet you <3

i am very tired so im probably going to sleep now!! i really liked making this but headcanons are not, in fact, my strong suit. requests are open, i would love to write some more for welcome home!!

[potteresque-ire]

Happy Halloween! 👻 (Happy Birthday, Wei Wuxian!)

For this spooky evening, I'd like to present this spooky song named 《辜》 (Guilt, pronounced gu), one of the theme songs from Season 2 of 天官賜福 TGCF's audio drama. (Lyrics and some thoughts under the cut!)

Below is my attempt to translate the beautifully written (and eerie) lyrics, although I can't say I'm satisfied with my efforts this time. It bears strong roots in the Taoist (religious) tradition, which I'm not part of. The very last paragraph (the one that mentions a pardon) is from a prayer known as 往生咒 (The Rebirth Mantra; Buddhists have their own version), which believers chant to help lost spirits find their way to the next life. Hence, the change in tone. I hope though, that as music is universal, that even with the language barrier this song can successfully spook some of you. Oh, by the way, the vocal in the middle of the song (starting 2:27) is from an opera style known as 華陰老腔 (pronounced Huayin Laoquiang), which has been designated as an Intangible cultural heritage by UNESCO, and the performer 張喜民 Zhang Ximin is the heir of the style (kudos to the production team of the audio drama for inviting him!). Even though the origin of the style is far from where I've grown up, the lines from that paragraph: 善有善報，惡有惡報 不是不報，時辰未到 Good is retributed by good. Evil is retributed by evil. It’s not a lack of retribution. It’s the time of retribution has not yet come. is something I can recite, in my own dialect (Cantonese), since I was little. The way this song conveys this well-known message ~ one that I admit I don't / can't always believe in ~ is very powerful to me. It's one of the reasons why I've repeatedly spooked myself with this song this month! (And so, I'm also using this post to send a message to Voldie: yes, I remember what you did 43 years ago on this night. The time of retribution would come for you.) (No, I haven't forgotten my "birth fandom" (Harry Potter), which I do plan to revisit one day. 😊) Anyway, onto the lyrics!

《辜》 (Guilt) [0:14] 幽幽夜沉沉 語悄悄 The night is dark and heavy, its words quiet. 聽 何人行踽踽 登初宵 Listen ~ Who’s walking in solitude, ascending upon this evening? 遊魂野客喧囂 高門重府燭搖 Boisterous are the wandering souls, the unbridled guests. Flickering are the candles in the mansions, the palaces. 問旦福夕禍 世間知多少 Asking about the ever-changing fortunes and calamities, how much and how little this world knows about them.

[0:43] 忽而風起 似誰笑 良辰吉時到 The wind suddenly rises, as if someone laughs. The propitious hour has come. 幾家烹調歡宴 肉骨餵邪妖 不足飽 Some homes have cooked a feast, meat and bones to feed the wicked but can’t satiate. 他神色木然 既悲又喜 耳畔道 Wooden is his expression, both sad and happy, and by each ear, he utters words. 回頭 卻是惡言生寒 入髓竅 But when heads turn, the evil in the words grows into a chill and burrows into the marrow.

[1:34] 迷迷霧漫漫 哭渺渺 The mist dazes and lingers, its tears vague.  提 昏燈過長街 天不曉 Uplift ~ dim lanterns crossing the long streets, the sky that fails to dawn. 花腔滾板未消 惡鬼怨倀又告 Dissipating still are the coloraturas and percussions. Accusing once more are the wicked ghosts, resentful, 問天公愚聵 善惡何以報 Asking the gods, stupid and deaf, the retributions for the good and the evil. 

[2:00] 社鼓陣陣 金鐃厲 良辰吉時到 The temple drums beat. The golden cymbals clang. The propitious hour has come. 造化如命數 歡恨誰藉著 不相饒 Life’s blessings are like the accounts of destiny, transactions of joys and hatred are not forgiven. 他神色木然 似悟非悟 舉斧刀 Wooden is his expression, both knowing and ignorant, and his hatchet rises. 回頭 卻是青衣扶搖 登仙道 But when heads turn, rising is the commoner’s attire, ascending to the enlightened path.

[2:27 Vocal] 休將奸狡昧神祗，禍福如同逐影隨 Don’t use guile to deceive the gods, calamity and fortune follow like shadows. 善有善報，惡有惡報 Good is retributed by good. Evil is retributed by evil. 不是不報，時辰未到 It’s not a lack of retribution. It’s the time of retribution has not yet come.

[2:52 Chant] 斷足折顱 摧魄裂魂 Feet broken, skull snapped, Spirit broken, soul cracked, 手起刀落 血飛肉滾 Hands lifted, knives dropped, Blood spilled, flesh rolled, 剜心剔骨 解我悲忿 Heart hollowed, bones carved All to solve my sorrows and fury. 易除厄罰 難償苦恨 Easy it is to root out adversaries. Hard it is to compensate the bitter loathing. 斷足折顱 摧魄裂魂 Feet broken, skull snapped, Spirit broken, soul cracked, 有命還命 以待三更 A life for a life, to wait for midnight 諸罪來受戮 見鬼神 When crimes come for a slaughter, to greet their demons and gods.

[3:23 From 往生咒 The Rebirth Mantra] 有頭者超，無頭者升 鬼魅一切，四生沾恩 太上敕令，超汝孤魂 脫離苦海，轉世往生 Those who’ve kept their heads, transcend. Those who haven't, rise. All apparitions are marked with the blessings from life, The pardon from The Supreme transcends your wandering souls. To leave this bitter sea, to reincarnate and reborn.

[xxlady-lunaxx]

I like your scars | {SaneGiyuu}

Theme: Fluff :3

Note: Yk that one audio? Smth that goes like, "I like your scars" 'M-Mine?' "Yeah." 'I like your smile!' 

or smth but i forget the whole thing 😭

Anyways, partially inspired by that, and some videos I was watching earlier

-They're already dating!

-Probably OOC Giyuu bc the videos influenced me to make Giyuu so sassy 😃

-Also a little Nemi insecurity :3

-...and slightly OOC Sanemi at some points because... they're both shit at being fluffy when it comes to words, so at this point this is just what I want to say to a future lover but somewhat in their personalities... 😋

Giyuu rest his forehead on Sanemi's, their breaths interweaving together. It was silent as the two lovers lay together in a single futon, holed up in Giyuu's house as snow fell outside; the temperature dropping by the second.

"Giyuu?" Sanemi asked, after a beat.

Giyuu hummed in assent, his hand resting on Sanemi's jaw, his thumb tracing the scars on his boyfriend's face. "What is it?"

"Does my appearence not hinder your ability to... stay attracted to me?" Sanemi murmured uncertainly.

"Not at all. I like your scars," Giyuu said, a small smile brightening his face. He placed a loving kiss on the scar running across Sanemi's cheek.

"People tell me I'm scary when they see me. They run away. I can't assure people as well when I'm on my missions given of how they react..." Sanemi paused. "No one minds your presence, though. It's comforting."

Giyuu laughed gently, shaking his head. Sanemi watched him carefully.

"Sanemi, people think I'm too quiet. People say you're too loud. They say what they want, but their opinions don't matter, do they? I think... you shouldn't listen to them. They don't know you. You're kind and pretty and cute," Giyuu said, booping Sanemi's nose. "Either they're too traumatized by the demons to notice or they've got something terribly wrong with their eyesight."

Sanemi rolled his eyes. "But as you said, it's their opinion. How is your opinion so different from theirs when so many of theirs is... negative? And I'm not cute, by the way," he said, huffing.

"Hmm, I think you are. You're just proving me right," Giyuu said. "And, to answer your question, it's an opinion, remember? Theirs may be highly defective but trust me to say that I believe my words truly. What I say may be different than others but what I'm saying is also how I feel, how I see you and what I think of you. I love you, Sanemi, and nothing can changed that."

There was a silence for a minute, one of processing as the Wind Hashira pondered this.

"Mm... Then, I like your smile," Sanemi said finally, his voice quiet.

Giyuu chuckled softly, shaking his head in wonder. "And where might that have come from?"

"You kept complimenting me!! If I didn't compliment you, I'd feel bad," Sanemi whined.

"Fine. Why do you like my smile? Kocho-San says it's unsightful and that I shouldn't smile much," Giyuu said, frowning slightly.

"Well, Kocho's opinions are also deeply flawed then. I think it's wonderful. And more so by the fact that I rarely get to see it." Sanemi kissed him tenderly, as if he had to be careful, else Giyuu would break. "But if you smiled more often that would be just as lovely. You look so alive when you smile."

"Do I look like a dead fish when I don't?" Giyuu teased. 

"Nah, you're still adorable when you don't," Sanemi insisted. "Where the hell did 'dead fish' come from, though?"

Giyuu shrugged, moving to wrap his arms around Sanemi. "Some of the other Hashira have called me that before, I think. You did too, no? Before we started dating?"

Sanemi groaned. "Noo, don't remind me, I feel so bad about that..." 

"Don't be, I really was—am?—like one. Also, you hated me then so... sort of justified. And I did conspire ways to get back at all of you when I was particularily upset," Giyuu said, smirking at the thought.

"Oh? That makes me feel so much better," Sanemi said sarcastically. "What were these conspiracies, then?"

"Eh, stupid shit. Mostly just insults."

"Right. I didn't hate you, by the way," Sanemi said. 

"No? I thought you hated me with a, and I quote, 'burning passion,'" Giyuu said, giggling. 

"Oh, fuck off... No, well, I was irritated with you but I didn't 'hate you with a burning passion,'" Sanemi said with a sigh. "I hate myself for saying that, it was so cringy."

"Mmhm, it was funny," Giyuu murmured. "You know, after it all happened and I looked back on it. Why'd I annoy you, though? Was I that irritating?"

"Nah," Sanemi said, conspiciously not elaborating.

"Then... what?"

Sanemi grumbled, slinking down under the covers, his head obscured by the blanket and Giyuu's arms. He nestled himself into Giyuu's embrace, resting his forehead on the Water Hashira's chest. 

"You were so damn cool," Sanemi murmured, his voice muffled by the clothing. "I admired you so much it hurt. I pretended to hate you because it made it easier to cope with the fact that I liked you."

Giyuu raised an eyebrow at nothing, tucking his chin in to look down at the bundle of Sanemi wrapped in his arms.

"That's... cute," Giyuu said, laughing suddenly.

"Hey!! Don't laugh!" Sanemi said, jolting up, his face flushed as he bonked Giyuu lightly with his head.

"I'm sorry!! I'm sorry, I just can't imagine you admiring me. Or, like... Liking me at all. Before, at least," Giyuu said, pulling Sanemi up to his level again. 

Sanemi averted his eyes, his cheeks dusted pink in embarrassment. "Fuck, I was falling for you," Sanemi mumbled. "My ass couldn't admit it, though." 

"Well, it all turned out well," Giyuu said, kissing him. 

"Mhm, and now I've got a hot ass boyfriend who's never going to let this fact down. My money's on the fact that you'll bring it whenever you have a chance just to embarrass me," Sanemi said, pouting. 

"Awee, but you get so flustered easily, it's too cute not to..." Giyuu said.

"Hmm, right. Tell me how you fell for me," Sanemi said confidently, wanting Giyuu to be humiliated as well.

"Let me think back a bit," Giyuu said, resting his head on Sanemi's, closing his eyes. "I think... a couple months before I asked you out."

"How did you decide to ask me out, thought? Were you contemplating it for months?" Sanemi asked, laughing. 

"No, I wasn't going to tell you until..." Giyuu paused. "I don't know. I had this... spark. I think it was something you said."

The Hashira went silent again, lost in their thoughts. 

"Was it the time some bitch came and asked me out?" Sanemi asked, after a long moment. "A week or two before you asked me, some... demon slayer girl? She went up to me and asked me out. Fuck, I turned her down in an instant because my mind was on you, of all people... And she was ugly."

Giyuu snorted. "She was not, don't say that, Sanemi," he chastised.

"She was!! Especially the way she ran off crying after—don't tell me you feel bad for her? She literally avoided my eyes when she asked. You, on the other hand. Your ass walked up to me all, 'Hey Shinazugawa, wanna go out?' I'm going to be honest, you took me so off guard." Sanemi sighed, reminising. "It was a good type, though. You were so confident, somehow. Like, your eyes stayed on mine the whole time and were so..." 

His voice trailed off in thought and the silence slipped back into the room for a second.

"Sanemi?"

"Yes?"

"I wasn't confident, really. But I do think it was the fact that you turned down the girl that I asked you out finally. Partially, at least. I was hopeful because you'd turned her down, and... she was, you know, female? I was hoping it was because you were attracted to men. That, and I hadn't stopped loving you after several months," Giyuu concluded. "I guess I gave up on trying to rid the feeling."

Sanemi rolled his eyes. "Months," he scoffed. "I'd been trying to stop loving you for a fucking year. Hell, I just pretended to myself that I didn't like you. Good job."

"Eh? For what?" Giyuu asked.

"If you hadn't asked me out, I would've pretended I hated you for the rest of my life," Sanemi said, almost annnoyed at himself. "I'm a coward sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Giyuu teased.

Sanemi glared at him. "Alright, enough talk, let's sleep," he said, wrapping his arms around Giyuu's waist and closing his eyes.

"Hey, it's not my fault you started the conversation in the first place!" Giyuu protested, though he had a smile wavering on his face.

"Oh, fuck off. How did I start it?!" Sanemi complained. 

"You asked if your scars made me not like you," Giyuu said, kissing Sanemi's forehead.

"Mm. I forgot."

"I know."

Another lapse of silence drew on (this is getting annoying, isn't it....) and for a moment, Giyuu assumed Sanemi was falling asleep. 

But then he said, "And if you're wondering, there was nothing that made me ask you that. I was just... looking in the mirror yesterday."

"Oh." Giyuu paused. "But you look... gorgeous. What, was the mirror broken?"

Sanemi, whose head had been previously smushed against Giyuu's chest, looked up. "It was working perfectly fine, that's why," he said. "I can't bear to look at myself sometimes. Reminds me what I've gone through."

"Hmm, think about instead how much you've braved through, then? Or lived through? And you still look hot as hell??" Giyuu said, grinning slightly.

"Yeah... no. And... I didn't brave through shit. I literally just told you that I'm a coward," Sanemi deadpanned.

"We were talking about a completely different thing!!" he insisted. "And you did brave through it. It's not really being all fearless, it's about overcoming it."

"Look at you, being all wordy and practical," Sanemi said, grumbling. "Fine, if you want to give me a pep-talk, I'll accept it so you don't continue."

"Alright," Giyuu murmured. 

"Let's sleep now, 'kay? I want rest if I have to do my missions in dead-winter," Sanemi said, closing his eyes again as he rested his head against his boyfriend's body.

"Mmhm, love you, sleep well," the ravenette said quietly, placing another kiss on Sanemi's cheek.

"Love you too."

×××

« Word count: 1685 »

I HOPE THIS ONESHOT WAS SATISFACTORY AND I TOTALLY DIDN'T AT ONE POINT LOOK BACK AND REALIZE I WROTE SILENCE AS SILENECE, LOVE YOU ALL!!!! (i almost forgot how much I love fluff bc I keep clinging onto angst)

[yveltalreal]

For a little more context of what is occurring. And also because I found their conversation a little funny, BZZT! Only a little.

[An audio file is attached. Would you like to listen?]

Jaime: Guys, is this a bad time to admit that I’m no good at charades?

[An audible sigh can be heard from presumably Miguel.]

Flynn: I barely remember Houndspeak, I've no clue as to what he is saying...

Esper: [Quiet mumbling.] Why’s it one-handed....?

Miguel: I remember it perfectly so move aside Flynny boy.

Flynn: I–

[A sigh.] 

Flynn: Alright then.

Miguel: Okay okay. Where the fuck were you, Maple? Where did this happen?

[There is the sound of frantic movement and fabric rustling.]

Jaime: Okay so— She’s repeating signs…?

Miguel: She's saying– What? Maple, what the fuck do you mean– Why were you!?!?

Esper: [Deadpan.] I would also like to know why.

[The constant movement stops before starting again.]

Miguel: Okay uh– She's saying her and “Tree”, Aspen, were in... The Garden of Eden?

[A pause.]

Miguel: Breaking and entering to be exact.

[Maple makes a frustrated growling sound.]

Flynn: Wait– What is she saying exactly, the specific words?

Miguel: Uh, okay, the repeating sign basically means “safe place”. But she's used it in other ways before such as “heaven”. Then she says “tropical” and then “safe place” again which I assume means “paradise”? …Basically “Heaven Paradise” or “Safe Paradise”

Esper: I don't think this is Heaven, I think this is hell.

[Another pause.]

Flynn: Oh, Maple signed that that is correct.

Miguel: Awh, you do know something.

Victoria: Focus, Caldeira. Paradise. Dias means Aether Paradise.

Esper: She's nodding–

Miguel: [Confused.] Is that the, like, Science Place?

Victoria: The science place.

Jaime: Not the time, Victoria.

Miguel: I DON'T KNOW THIS SHIT OKAY–

[Ze sighs.]

Miguel: Okay. Maple, what happened there?

[The clothing rustling resumes.]

Miguel: Evil Gh– Frillish. Evil Frillish

Flynn: Ah– Can we have another descriptor?

[Maple sighs.]

Miguel: Evil Hole Frillish.

Esper: Did the “Evil Hole Frillish” do something to Aspen...?

Maple: Mhmm.

[More clothes rustle.]

Miguel: Evil Hole Frillish took a Tree into a Hole… No sign of uprooting so it's definitely about Aspen.

Z: NIHILEGO. SHE MEANS FUCKING NIHILEGO. A NIHILEGO.

[Silence falls upon the group.]

Miguel: THE THING IN THE CODE!?

Maple: Yeh.

Flynn: [Panicked.] Why– Wha– Why–

Jaime: …Z. You knew... You both knew. And you just let him?

Miguel: Wait what? What? Let Aspen do what?

Flynn: Go– Go into Aether Paradise. While it may be abandoned it would… it would still be locked down iron tight.

Miguel: A... And? Why's that a problem? If they could get in they could get in???

[A pause.]

Miguel: I don't see the issue?

Jaime: The issue is that they both knew that he was putting himself in harm’s way. Miguel, there is a reason that Aether Paradise is locked down tight and this is one of the reasons why!

Z: I didn’t want him to! I really didn’t, Jaime. I had a bad feeling about all of this but I tried. I tried to make this as safe as possible, Jaime. I— I didn’t think—

Jaime: Then why didn’t you try to stop him? Why didn’t either of you try to stop him?

Z: …Jaime, he was going to try regardless of whether we helped or not.

Miguel: It sounds like it was something he needed to do. What's done is done.

Victoria: What’s done is done.

Esper: [Barely audible.] Z... What happened...?"

Z: Aspen came to me asking for help breaking into Aether a few weeks ago. I told him I didn’t like the idea, but I know he probably would have gone with or without my help. Better to have me in his corner than not. But I told him that if I was going to help, he was not allowed to go in alone. So he asked Maple.

Maple: Yeh.

Flynn: And what happened in Aether?

Z: Well— Well we went through, like… Okay so I need to emphasize that there was a lot of planning involved and we mapped out an entire exploration path, alright? We had a whole thing planned out. Wait ‘till the cover of night, fly in on Decibel and Grampy, follow the path so I can disable the alarms and loop cameras, get what we needed, and get the fuck out. That was the plan.

So Aspen and Maple walked into Aether— I watched remotely through a camera— and everything was going according to plan. We were following the path. We got what we needed. We were about to leave. And then Aspen asked if we could double back for one more thing. And like… things had been going okay so far so… I told him to make it quick. So we doubled back to I— we started getting readings of dimensional instability. Tami started screaming. Something was wrong. We took this as our sign to get the fuck out of there. We were trying to leave, Jaime.

But then— fucking— god. Fuck. I thought that if… if we took precautions and we planned shit out… I thought maybe that we could…”

I don’t know why I thought I could stop anything bad from happening…

Miguel: Okay that's. A lot. That I am relatively confused on... But I think I get the gist.

Esper: ...Shite.

Flynn: We– We should call the authorities? Right...?

Miguel: Ha ha, closest I'm doing to that is calling Maple's mom.

[Maple makes a quiet "Weh?" noise.]

Z: Flynn, they’re gonna take forever to get here and even longer to figure out what to do.

Flynn: Well what the hell else are we meant to do? The sooner we call them the sooner they can do something. It's not we can go in after him–"

[Miguel starts laughing.]

Miguel: Or we couuullldddd!

[There was a pause.]

Jaime: Z, would it be possible to force open an Ultra Wormhole.

Flynn: [Incredulous.] We cannot go into Ultra Space.

Esper: ...I …I want to hear Z's answer.

Z: Well based on the files I found on the Aether Terminal, we’d kinda need to beat the shit out of a Cosmog or get a Solgaleo or a Lunala or—“

[Z stopped herself.]

Z: Wait.

[There was a pause.]

Z: Theoretically… If… If we…

[Silence.]

Z: Chat we fucking might.

Miguel: FUCK YEAH!!!

[ceoandslutler]

have you heard kuro dubbed in any language other than english? or in any other asian language other than korean or chinese? well i found a persian one and it's so fucking bad that it's hilarious.

(also stay tuned to find out why the persian dub of kuroshitsuji being so bad has directly to do with anti-shipping sentiment and puritanism)

i would like to politely invite anyone who's ethnically from/lives in/speaks the language of a country with an ultraconservative government to contribute to this post if they know a dub of kuro (fandub or licenced by a company) in their language to contribute to this post (agree or disagree that policing media causes a drop in its quality and accessibility in other countries) but let's keep it civil. if you are not from a country like this but have something to say, feel free to add anything on, the conversation is open to all :)

so i just heard the homemade persian dub of kuro's first ep made by some young people who sound like they're in uni (probs 18-23 yr olds), tears have been flowing from my eyes for the past 20 mins

(link under the cut)

to save time, go watch the bits i linked below or just laugh at the whole thing (full link) but don't blame these kids for being awful at this or just skip to the end of the post. as i said, there is a reason this dub is so bad and no official dub exists and it has to do with... anti subculture?!?*

but first, the funny stuff

ciel's voice is awful but just listen to the goofy dub laugh seb's va did at the start I'M FUCKING SOBBING (00:15-00:35), and also not ciel's va MOANING after the op song (2:35) ??? i REPEAT the woman who VA'd ciel was fucking MOANING, the YAWN was the worst part, dub team shotacons???

also SHEEL FANTOMHAYO?? THE KID'S NAME WAS DUBBED AS SHEEL FANTOMHAYO. (refer to 6:30 in the video linked)

now this isn't because we lack a 's' in our language (my alias is literally a persian name meaning shadow aka ✦sayé✦), we've just transliterated it as shiyel, but SHEEL???

the other guy calls him fantomhayo too (8:25) and the fantomhayo condition strikes again with sebastian's va talking about the fantomhayo hospitality at 12:40 ish in the video.

this is particularly bizarre because we do have a V in persian, please guys, use it!

please note: i have nothing but good things to say about finny's va... the way the va says "sebaastiyaan!" (12:43) is so cute <3

at 13:00, we get this golden crumb "meyrin... oh meyrin" from this college aged dude doing sebastian (who is SO lost) then he proceeded to say in persian "i beg you, ON MY LIFE, just pour the fucking wine in the glass and walk away" save me from the bad dub, ono daisuke, save me...

the furnace scene is just gold (18:50 onward is comical, the scream at the end... priceless), these people deserve an award, im tempted to do subs on this whole video because the translation is so wrong yet absolutely too hilarious to leave untranslated. also, i like how you can hear other people talking in the background constantly, they didn't even bother finding a quiet room 😭😭

finally i translated some of the best comments under the vid (everyone fuckin hated it 😭)

..tldr: irani/persian speaking netizens are brutal. but also, it shows that persian speakers are used to quality dubbing, otherwise this wouldn't be so offensive. if we were used to badly done dubs, the comments wouldn't look like this. many famous kdramas and jdramas and indian/turkish films have been dubbed. animated movies e.g. disney films and most commonly 70-80s anime have huge followings in iran and were dubbed extraordinarily well. in fact, in iran, many of our own films are dubbed especially if the original footage did not capture the audio well enough/the director was unhappy with the actor's delivery and it's usually hard to tell if this has happened because it's done very well. shockingly, dub is more popular than sub. so why does kuro not have an official dub? why is the fandub so bad???

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING

*IMPORTANT: an anime like this is not allowed to be legally dubbed by studios in iran because iran is under an islamic theocracy (the islamic republic) and all media that promotes devil worshipping and blasphemy is banned, homosexuality is too (anyone can tell kuro has homoerotic undertones, the homophobic heads of media would never let this queer gothic romance through). oh and trans people are "allowed" on TV but only if they're not vulgar/explicit (not even then, half the time) & grelle would not make it into the anime AT ALL. even if we ignore all the devil worshipping and queerness, sex is banned too (as well as lewd appearances of women), so season 1/2 & boc would never make it. oh and alcohol, bom would never make it. oh and also, women's empowerment is banned too so boa would never make it. when will it end? will someday everything be banned? sure looks like it. but isn't this what anti shippers want? i mean kuro IS problematic media, it never condemns people for having sex or partaking in drinks, not even murder is condemned.

moving on, the subtitled version of the episodes are very well done for what they are but it's still not good, you won't understand what's going on properly. meanings are lost. a dub is much more accessible to those who can't read subs and generally a necessary option. people NEED dubs. don't get me wrong, the iranian fansub team are dedicated however subs are much easier for fans to do than dubbing. as you heard, kuro's persian fandub was frankly terrible. these kids didn't even know how to pronounce ciel's name and it's NOT because of the language barrier, my theory is that because the internet access is so limited, they had to figure out how to pronounce ciel's name purely from the japanese original or another lang dub and had no access to the eng dub. as you can see, they are not able to follow the mouth movements either (don't have editing software); i assume the internet restrictions targeted streaming platforms w the dub on it (because the government wants to CONTROL what media people consume) so they had to figure everything out from japanese or another language, (they probably used another fandub to translate since the ed seems to credit the eng vas while they can never be heard in the bg) which is not easy. unfortunately english is taught in schools around the world not japanese so the dubbers' translation was quite honestly terrible- after all, they had no official script to base their translation off. BUT if a professional dubbing studio (e.g. iran's glory entertainment) got their hands on kuro, it'd probably be dubbed very well. if mehrdad raissi, CEO of glory, was on for seb's role, it would be glorious (pun intended). if he did flynn rider well, he can do sebs well too. but that studio often has their shows played on state televisions and the last thing they want is to get blacklisted and arrested for dubbing the gay demon butler anime. please do not take this fandub as representing all persian-language dubs. and remember, kuro itself is banned for being problematic media in counties like iran... no sebaciel needed (although anyone can definitely see the gay undertones to the story from a cover alone).

if you want to ban people from shipping things or making fan works that are problematic... soon you'll have to get rid of problematic media in general. and already, antis sound like the media people in charge under a dictatorship. "violence is okay, murder is okay but s-sex?!? women in scandalous clothing!!! oh good heavens..!" this is the kind of mindset which leads people down the rabbit hole of "this is problematic!! let's ban it!!!" until there's nothing left, a slippery slope. imagine this was the english dub of kuro. imagine it was banned in western countries and a team of young'uns had to gang up and make their own dub using only the japanese raws. imagine problematic media like kuro wasn't picked up the west because it's "shota" and that's bad. we'd be stuck looking at the same sanitised stuff and if we wanted to watch kuro, our options would be trash dubs (no offense) like this one. pretty scary to think this could be the state of the english dub if puritanism was as bad here as it is in countries like iran. policing media and deciding what creators should or shouldn't create will take you to the side of theocratic dictatorships and you will fall into alt right puritan lunacy, fanpoll are about as woke as a dictatorship, remember that.

don't sound like this:

NEVER sound like this.

it is clear that conditional freedom is no freedom at all. there should be zero criteria to the media we want to create, no religion or purity culture to it. just be media literate. let nobody control what you want to create or consume! (or you'll end up in a world where the media that is deemed "problematic" is maintained but only through underground circles, losing quality and accessibility day by day, until these channels are shut down too and only a sanitised husk of options for media consumption remain)

[misc-obeyme]

If the bros worked in a nightclub, what roles would they have, along with their stage names? Oh, and today is my birthday! I just wanted to share it with you🥳💕

Happy birthday, anon!!

Um, so I might not be the best person to ask about nightclub related things... I haven't been to many of them. I am an introverted homebody lol.

I'm not sure what you mean by roles? Like what kinda jobs they'd have if they worked at a nightclub?

Because if that's what you mean, then I can tell you what I think they'd all do! And I'm gonna say that Asmo just came up with stage names for all of them because he felt like it, no matter what they end up doing.

Asmo is absolutely on stage. No question about it. Whether he's singing or pole dancing or doing drag or whatever, that guy's the center of attention! Stage name: I kinda think he'd go for the single name. It's just straight up ASMODEUS. Probably stylized all in caps like that, too.

Beel is the bouncer. Not working the door, but watching things on the inside. Big and quiet and can easily pick up rowdy demons and toss them outside without a second look. Stage name: I kinda think Asmo could talk him into doing pole dancing. Because you know, it's super athletic and requires a lot of strength. I kinda feel like it'd end up being something about his muscles. Mr. Buffington perhaps. LOL. I dunno how serious these stage names are. Beel would probably be like uhhhh I'm just Beel.

Mammon is the finance guy. Most of the time, he's just crunching numbers, but when the club is in action, he's out on the dance floor, just kinda bringing some ambiance with his enthusiastic personality. Yeah, he might be trying to get people to buy the most expensive drinks, but he's also having the time of his life so nobody minds. Stage name: I like the idea that Mammon regularly gets into his dame outfit. Either straight up calls himself Goldie or something like... Lady Grimm. LOL!

Satan is bar tending. I don't know why, but I just think he'd be good at it. And he's probably the most competent one to be handling all that booze anyway. Lucifer would probably do a good job, but he can't be trusted around the Demonus. Stage name: because Asmo makes him wear cat ears all the time, he's obviously going to be something like Kitty Meow Meow. Anyone who actually calls him this gets decked.

Levi is handling all the tech. Stage lights? Fog machine? Audio equipment? This guy is on it! Hides most of the time and plays video games when he's not needed. Hates being out in the main area so hides in vip lounges all the time. Stage name: Lord of Shadows! Asmo can come up with whatever cutesy thing he wants, but Levi won't go by anything else. It doesn't matter because he would never actually be on stage so Asmo lets it be.

Belphie helps out with bar tending. He's too sleepy to partake of too much alcohol, it'd just make him sleepier. But he's smart and he's good at keeping an eye out for creepers trying to roofie drinks. He looks like he's not paying attention, but he notices everything. Subtly lets Beel know when there's a creeper that needs to be escorted out. Stage name: because I like the idea that Belphie will also sometimes do the dame thing and then he just goes by Belle - simple, elegant, and Asmo approved.

Lucifer oversees everything. He's the manager, of course. Makes sure everybody else is doing what they're supposed to. Hires extra muscles for Beel when needed. Only has the best demons working the door. Books musical gigs when Asmo's not performing. Keeps himself away from the alcohol and the Anti Lucifer League lol. Stage name: only on rare occasions does Lucifer do anything that would require a stage name and then he goes by Morningstar. Asmo's so awestruck he wouldn't even dream of protesting.

OKAY well I did my best lol. I'm sorry if this isn't really what you were looking for! You can always send me another ask with more detail on what exactly you're thinking of. But yeah, my knowledge of this stuff is lacking in general.

Either way, I hope you had a fabulous birthday, anon!

[malleusarcanum]

⚠️: Field Trip

Ashton : These muscles are impatient, I'll blast this bus off if you don't hurry up!

Crowley: You can't fly if you don't spread your wings enough.

Ashton:....

Sam: My friends of the other side translated what this raven want to squawk. You can't rush things.

Ashton: I know that, not only my muscles are active, also my healthy brain.

Trein: Tardiness is unacceptable or if you want our campsite be positioned by others.

Lucius: Meowwwwww!!!!

*Crowley ignored the cat. When he's done with lifting his 5 suitcases he went to his seat beside crewel*

Crewel: You have to be fashionable most of the time, those suitcases can be exempted but that type of clothing *raised an eyebrow*. Atleast these puppies knows that.

Mc: Is he referring to us?

Epel: Looks like it, but I can't wait to arive already. Even my sleep never visited me last night. *Yawned*

Mc: You can sleep at my shoulder.

Epel: I don't think I need....*yawn* maybe a.... Little.....*fallen asleep*

Vil: I want also a beauty sleep beside a majestic flower *sparkled his eyes*

Mc:.....

Mc: Then open that window and throw yourself out, I'm sure there's a flower planted there.

Vil: *sulked*

Mc*sighed heavily*: fine, Take a nap then *pointed at it's shoulder*

Vil: Can't I sleep somewhere softer?

Mc: *annoyed* *flicked Vil's nose*

Vil: Ah?!

Mc: Shh-

Epel: *rubbed his eyes* Am I seeing things? Vil looks like a red nosed reindeer?

Vil: Good News baby potato, you're not

------------while others------------

Lilia: Do any of you left something?

Silver & Sebek: *thinked* Meh nothing

Silver: Why old ma-

Sebek: shoot?!!!!!!

*the bus shakes after sudden drift*

*teachers turned their heads to Sebek*

Crewel: what was that?!

Ashton: Give me 10 pushups!

Crowley: I'm afraid push ups are not allowed here...

Ashton: hmp

Trein: Explanation must be provided after that life threatening situation.

Lucius: meaw!

Grim: I hate this pussy cat *whispered*

Ace: I'm glad you despise yourself

Ortho: *behind them tapped an audio meme at his tablet* Nani?!

Grim: Funyahhhh?!!!!

Idia: *scrolling yuutube shorts, played a song accidentally*

so pack up, go home, you're through 🎶

How can I make a man out of you? 🎶

Grim: They're really testing my patience!! Nyarhghhh! *Can't attack, Deuce hugged him*

Sebek: Apologies, I somehow forgot something.

Crowley: is it important?

Sebek: Without it I'll never have a peaceful mind and despair may conquer through those dark nights.

Ruggie: nightlight?

Kalim: happiness?

Jack: courage?

Jamil: Revenge?

Crewel: puppy?

Silver: *realized something* don't tell me you really left it?

Sebek: *nodded*

Lilia: No! Not the crocodile plushie

Everyone:.....

*Back seats*

Floyd: One hundred and five

*one car passed*

Jade: *another vehicle passed* One hundred and six

Azul: can't you be quiet?!

Floyd & Jade: Boringggggggg

Jade: Oh! Look! That one looks like Azul. *Pointed at a billboard promoting takuyaki*

Floyd & Azul: Where?!

*Azul then looked sharply at jade*

Floyd: Check this out! He exactly looks like Sea Slug

Azul: *arranged it's glasses* precisely.

Jade: Is he trying to catch this bus

*Azul, Jade & Floyd smirked*

*watching "MALLEUS" running desperately*

Cater: I wanna take it a picture!*lifted his phone steadily*

Sebek: Who dares imitate young master? *Stood up joining at the back seat*

Trey: Even the details of Malleus's face is captured, well portrayed.

Rook: Roi du Dragon! you must see this fascinating being

Riddle: Sit down! We're still in a bus! *Stopped after sensing himself that wants to puke, face turned green*

Leona: I haven't felt Lizard's presence.

*Mc got curious also looked*

Mc: shut the motherf**ker?!

*Everyone turned to find Malleus's seat*

Crowley: STOP THE BUS!!!!!!!!!!!

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hello! I hope you’re doing well! This is for your redacted match-up game since I thought it looked fun to do :)

(I also wanted to mention that it’s really fun seeing what songs you pick for the match-ups and has introduced me to some new favorites)(No pressure to do this quickly ofc <3)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? A totally basic song, but I’ve resparked my obsession with Taylor Swift’s song “Wildest Dreams”. I love the lyrics “Staring at the sunset, babe / Red lips and rosy cheeks / Say you'll see me again / Even if it's just in your wildest dreams”. The whole song is very, like, yearning and honestly does remind me of a vibrant sunset just before it softens into a pink and yellow glow. And I like the “wildest dreams” lyric because I daydream a lot. Not to mention, I enjoy the music video for it.

What is your Enneagram type? Type 9w1

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? I like watching long videos in general. Sometimes it’s just gameplay, sometimes it’s social commentary, sometimes it’s ghost hunting videos, sometimes it’s something that randomly popped up in my for you page and looked interesting. The most recent one I watched was “Exploring the Secret Lesbian World of Interwar Paris” by Kaz Rowe.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. I didn’t really have one, but I pretended to have an imaginary “boyfriend”. People at my elementary school were obsessed with dating for some reason even though we were, like, 8 and so that’s the main reason why I said it was a bf. (It’s also funny bcuz now I’m listening to imaginary boyfriends).

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? If I’m too awake from an exciting/busy day I’ll watch youtube videos to calm down. I sleep with my childhood stuffed animal. I feel bad if I don’t and hugging it makes me feel better. I also usually sleep with a night light because I hate not being able to see things if I wake up in the middle of the night. 

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) Well, I like the name “Meri”. But if I actually had to change my name, I’d probably just switch my middle name and first name with each other, since I like them well enough.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? I really like David’s “Watching a Scary Movie With Your Alpha Werewolf” audio. I love his laughs so much (I could  s q u e a l  into a pillow)! It’s also really calming in the sense that it’s relaxing in a fun way (just chilling and watching a movie), so I go back to it a lot.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) Ollie. He’s really sweet and I don’t hate him at all, but I can only watch two of his audios in a row before wanting to change to something else. 

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. Oh! I have one for each of these: If it’s a book, then “The Princess and the Fangirl” by Ashley Poston. If it’s a TV show, then “Gravity Falls” (I watch it as a summer solstice tradition). And if it’s a movie, then “Miss Congeniality (2000)” (I love those 90s/2000s romance and comedy movies). 

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? I totally get the romantic appeal of Sam, but I would like him as a friend because he’s very down-to-earth, caring and I like his vibes. (I'd also include Caelum, I DON'T want to date him at all, but he's a cute little guy that makes me smile a lot).

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) I don’t think I ramble about anything. I’m pretty quiet when I’m tired. Although, sometimes I do get “slap happy” and find a lot of things hilarious before I eventually get to the exhausted point of ‘no-talking’.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. KitKats and Coca-Cola (slushie or the actual drink)!!

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. One of my private playlists that’s a mix of 2010s EDM and pop, 90s and 2000s rock, alternative music and country songs.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? Listening to Redacted Audio is the biggest, and also reading/writing fanfiction. It’s embarrassing to talk to any of my IRL friends or family about it even though I’m fully supportive and excited about discussing all of those things, it's just the weird reputation it carries.

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! I’m introverted. I have two cats! (I didn't realize how many cat lovers were in this fandom). I believe that I’m biromantic and demisexual. Some things I like to do are: write, read, go camping with friends (I love hanging out, playing card games, swimming and eating campfire food), doing karaoke, and playing dress up in costumes/outfits I’ve collected over the years. Sometimes I’ll draw or paint but not as often. I often have dance parties or a good cry to de-stress (which are like two different vibes XD but it works). The video games I like to play are Minecraft, Stardew Valley, and The Sims. I like to take quizzes. I used to take Buzzfeed and Quotev quizzes a lot when I was younger, but now I mostly go on uquiz. (I like pressing buttons).

I also really like paleontology. I can watch ghost hunting videos (as stated before) BUT I cannot do horror movies. I’m assuming it’s because I get too involved with the movie, and ghost hunting does not have as high of stakes. I guess I would describe myself as someone that is pretty quiet until you get to know me. I tend to be very watchful and cautious when I’m out in public with friends or family (which probably comes from my ‘older sibling need’ to make sure that the younger ones don’t get kidnapped or hurt). I count myself as an early bird, since I wake up around 6-7am most days. My style is pretty casual, maybe sometimes dark academia inspired if I’m feeling stylish. And my main love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. (I hope all of that helps!)

Your entry gave me so much trouble in the most delightful way. You paint me a picture of someone so easy to get along with that it was hard for me to pick one redacted suitor over the other. In the end, looking at the charming ways you’d contrast one another, I like Asher for you best.

You’re a cat person; he’s a literal dog person. You’re an introvert; he’s an extrovert. You’re an older sibling, he’s a younger sibling. You’re a morning person; he’s sleeping in till noon if you let him. You’re a cozy gamer; he’s an FPS, COD kind of guy. Yet, you two get along so well. Type Nines are characterized by a desire for peace and quiet, typical of an older sibling, and Asher as the emotionally intelligent beta of the Shaw Pack would be able to provide that. One thing that particularly convinced me was your love languages in that Asher strikes me as one of the most verbally affectionate and forthcoming of the redacted men and would be best suited for your love of words of affirmation.

That’s not to say he doesn’t indulge your need for quality time either; he’s perfect for that. Asher loves your cats, and they love him (once they get used to his shifted form). He orders pizza and wings for your romcom movie nights, most of which he hasn’t seen yet but is super happy to watch them for the first time with you. He’s always down for a good karaoke sess, whether you asked for one or not. He picks up and gets good at Stardew Valley immediately, especially when he finds out y’all can work on the same farm and that he can craft you a wedding ring. (That is, when he’s not trying to get himself an NPC husband. He is down bad for all those men, but he has a soft spot for Shane, can’t tell you why.)

Song:

We're making out inside crashed cars/ We're sleeping through all our memories/ I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive (now I only waste my time dreaming of you)/ Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness/ 'Cause all of our moves make up for the silence/ And oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase/ Like I'll never be the same

If you love 90’s/00’s rock and alternative, and I’ve given you Asher, could I give you anything other than a Fall Out Boy song? Obviously not, especially this era and track of Fall Out Boy. There’s something about their older songs that capture young, first love in the best, most singable way. Also, the title is a reference to the romance classic movie, Casablanca, and that coincidence really cinched my choice.

Runner-ups:

Huxley would be a gorgeous partner and runner-up for an early bird who loves camping. He’s also one of my favorite picks for someone on the ace spectrum; he just gives that vibe. (I’m also an asexual who loves Huxley, so that may be my bias coming through.) David is also a runner-up, one who almost beat out Asher except for the fact Asher would be more outwardly affectionate off the bat and would like your cats more.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

solaris has a very unique verbal quirk that i haven't noticed from any of the rest of the 'main' ieytd cast. personally, it's probably one of my favorite character defining features, both for her and probably for most of the characters that we actually see in the games.

solaris has a very interesting way of verbally communicating under pressure.

as the phoenix messes with her technology, she will be very outwardly hostile towards them. but one of the main threats she weaponizes in an attempt to get them to stop is how much danger the agent is putting themself in by trying to sabotage the death engine.

it's as if she's attempting to drill it into their head. if you mess with my technology, you will die. as if they don't already know. as if she'll inevitably hit some magic number and they'll suddenly realize the risks they're taking and stop trying to blow up the satellite they're literally attached to.

this isn't the interesting part of the equation, though. that only happens once the agent keeps going with their attempts- either succeeding, or coming dangerously close to it.

she... gets scared. she gets audibly scared. she still attempts to weaponize the risks that the agent is taking, but she slips up. she says the quiet part out loud. "we're both dead". "we're both going to die". "you'll kill us both".

the assumption to draw from this circumstance is that solaris is fully aware that the agent has the potential to kill her. the second they started messing with her technology, it's been a possibility looming in the back of her mind. she has been worried about it- seemingly- the entire time. but she disguises it with aggression like an angry, cornered animal.

i think it lends some very interesting insight into solaris' thought process, and the way that she verbally engages with people around her... i also think it could say something about the way that she talks with zor specifically, this context in mind...

transcriptions for both audio files beneath the cut, including the names of the audio logs as they're given in the game files (because they provide added context to when the quotes are used)

VO_Space_SQ_Post_Controller_Banter_02: “If you blow up the Death Engine, you’re going down with it.” VO_Space_SQ_Post_Controller_Banter_03: “Are you ready to sacrifice yourself? Because your odds for surviving this are zero.” VO_Space_SQ_Post_Controller_Banter_04: “I know you’re bad at risk assessment, so let me help you out. My Death Engine explodes? You die.” VO_Space_SQ_Rip_Panel_01: “What do you think you’re doing?! Blowing up the Death Engine is guaranteed to kill you.” VO_Space_SQ_Rip_Panel_02: “Are you mad…?! Blowing up the Death Engine will kill you.” VO_Space_SQ_Rip_Panel_03: “Stop that at once! Mess with the reactor and you die!” VO_Space_SQ_Solve_Thrown_Object_Puzzle_02: “Why must you be such a pest? Don’t you realize messing with the Death Engine puts you at risk just the same?”

VO_Space_SQ_Catch_Thrown_Object_01: “How… dexterous of you… Don’t get any silly ideas, now-” VO_Space_SQ_Catch_Thrown_Object_02: “Oh… Just… safely throw the crate towards earth and nobody will get hurt-” VO_Space_SQ_Catch_Thrown_Object_03: “Sigh, you just don’t quit, do you? Don’t get any funny ideas with that crate now…” VO_Space_SQ_Grab_Crystal_01: “Do you realize how dangerous that crystal is? … You’ll kill us both!” VO_Space_SQ_Grab_Wincon_01: “Put that down! Before you, uh… hurt yourself-!” VO_Space_SQ_Start_Chain_Reaction_01: “What have you done?! We’re both going to die-!” VO_Space_SQ_Start_Chain_Reaction_02: “You reckless fool! Okay… I can fix this…” VO_Space_SQ_Start_Chain_Reaction_03: “Idiot! You killed us both! … Well, I’ll probably be fine-” VO_Space_SQ_Lose_Crystal: “Aww, that’s… unfortunate. You had me worried there for a moment!”

[miyaheestar]

guy new audio rambles

the way my smile literally just go soo wide the moment i hear him say "honey~ im boooored"

honestly im convinced that when erik just want to ramble about the most random thing ever, he would use the opportunity to be guy.

"hi honey, hi! how you doing?" HE SOUND SO ADORABLE IM GONNA FUCKING CRY MAN I WANNA CUDDLE HIM MY BABY MY BELOVED

the "POP" though HSGSHS

he's so loveable i wanna kiss him and tell him how much his voice just make my day better

OH OKAY THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT I LOOK INCREDIBLE (I JUST WOKE UP AND HAVEN'T TAKE A SHOWER)

guy whispering is so cute i wanna smooch him so bad

THE ACCENT WHEN HE SAID "would you like to make out with me?" HELP IMDVEJGWKWGE OKAY SURE BIG GUY LET'S SMOOCH

HE'S SO FLIRTY AND GIGGLY IMDBHSJEGE WHY IS HE MAKING ME BLUSH I SHEJGEKEGEKGWKE HE CAN SAY THE CORNIEST SHIT EVER AND I WILL STILL BE GIGGLING LIKE AN IDIOT

just like few weeks ago i ramble so much about not having a boyfriend to my friends till they think im actually insane with how fast i talk and change topics so i always understand guy when it comes to his rambles

"baby im your motivation" YES YOU ARE BABY YES YOU AREE

guy struggling to be quiet is so understandable JSGSJSHJS

"i dont think it counts when im whispering" of course baby whatever you say beloved ( i am whipped )

PARENTAL FIGURE SJGSJSGSJ GUY OH MY GOD HE WOULD DEFINITELY USE MOMMY/DADDY ISN'T HE 😭

just saying this, as a writer i rambled just like guy and flirt just like guy. my vocabulary and grammar has also been ruined by guy which i dont mind because i love him and i want to make my friends speechless with his stupid jokes

honey you're so real for loving guy ( i am honey )

guy i dont think you will never be able to friendzone me just saying

"what do you say? comrade?" STOP RIGHT THERE YOU PIZZA MAN

"a little vava for the voom" sweetheart I don't understand shit what you're trying to say but i love you

TONGUE TANGO JSCSJFWJSGSKWGS

"ooh honey, well hello there~ hi. hey, hello, hi fancy meeting you on top of me. hi honey" YOU ARE SO ADORABLE I WILL FUCKING KISS YOU UNTIL YOU NO LONGER HAVE THE ABILITY TO BREATH

me too honey i would smooch him too

"you really do have such a beautiful eyes" STOP IT BEFORE I CRY YOU HANDSOME BEAUTIFUL PIZZA MAN

kisses

HE WAS GONNA SAY PROSTATE I KNEW IT

yes baby i know how fast your brain is

man i love his lil "awww"

i love you guy 🥹

now i have been smiling for 26 minutes straight so let me excuse myself before i get a face cramp

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #158

I went to a wedding today! Two of my favorite people became husbands to each other! We'll call them AH and JC! I've known AH for a number of years now, and he's one of the brightest, kindest, and most amazing human beings I've ever met! And JC is also very kind, gentle, and extremely non-judgmental. The two fit together like peas in a pod, with their other partner who we'll call C, and C is also a wonderful human being, though I don't yet know him as well as I'd like.

…To be sure, it has been too long since last time I invited them all over to my house. I should probably rectify that very soon…

Of course, going to a wedding naturally means that I will have to be in a very loud space with lots and lots of people I don't know. And that's always kind of scary. I get easily overwhelmed by loud noises, such as loud music being played. And everyone is talking loudly in order to try to be heard over the music, and because there's so much noise, it's extremely difficult for me to parse out meaning from speech when people try to talk to me (ah, the perils of Audio Processing Disorder…), and I'm a very non-standard human anyway, so even without all the noise it's difficult for me to socialize to begin with (I mean, seriously, who the fuck wants to listen to me prattle on and on about human psychology and the broader cultural implications of childhood trauma??? no one, that's who), and so… ya know… it's usually better if I keep my mouth shut in any social situation in which I find myself, because if I don't, I'll probably end up embarrassing myself, making someone uncomfortable, or both.

I was there with M and J; it was probably safer for Br to stay home because the food meant that there was gluten everyfuckingwhere, and the last thing she needs is to get sick, the poor thing. But all the same, M and J don't have audio processing troubles the way I do, and they have more normal interests (like airplanes, and computer programming, and movies and games and TV), so they were able to carry out conversation where as I… mostly just sat around and daydreamed because I wasn't really able to understand a word that anyone was saying.

Naturally, I wouldn't daydream about you being in this particular situation with me; I'm sure you enjoy crowds full of unfamiliar people about as much as you might enjoy accidentally stumbling into a nest full of angry wasps (please don't ever do that, okay?). But I did imagine how nice it might be to sit someplace quiet with you and eat all the awesome epic snacks they had! I'll show you what they were!!

But first though!!!! I have to show you!!! There was FRESH LEMONADE!!!!! A whole big giant huge jug of it!!!!! Look!!!

...You can bet your bottom that I drank WAAAAY more of this than I probably should have, ahahahaha~! But oh my goodness, I got to have FRESH LEMONADE two days in a row!!! WOWWWW~!!!!! 🤩🤩🤩

Powdered lemonade and lemonade from concentrate is a lot more common in my world (and they both taste TERRIBLE to my sensory hardware, as compared to the real thing), so fresh lemonade is kind of a rare treat, normally only found at places like county fairs and other outdoor events. Oh, speaking of which, I should probably get my toosh over to a county fair sometime soon, that way I can take pictures for you, because I can't imagine that you've ever been allowed to actually enjoy one... hm, hm, hmmmm..... 🤔

Anyway, so the food!! There was macaroni and cheese, and various stuff to put on it!!

You can see in here that there's cheese, salsa, jalapeno peppers, bacon, and crispy fried onions! And yes, I did absolutely put more cheese on my macaroni and cheese, because I AM THE CHEESE GOBLIN. It is written. It is known. And anyone who knows me well understands that the allure of a good cheddar is too much for me to resist, bahahaha~! 🤪🤣😁

They also had a section for very tiny snacks!! Behold!

Tiny egg rolls!!!

Tiny chicken cordon bleu bites!

Tiny spanakopita!

...And tiny beef empanadas!

...And I have no idea why they were tiny, but they were, and they were delicious and delightful and I wished I could share any of them with you, but I especially loved the spanakopita!

And I don't know if you have spanakopita because you don't seem to have anyplace like Greece in your world, but spanakopita is what happens when you cook spinach and feta cheese together in between layers of crispy, paper-thin dough that has been brushed with butter between every layer! It's an ABSOLUTE! FUCKING! NIGHTMARE! to make as a dyspraxic person, oh my goodness (seriously, I tried it once, -5,042 out of 10 stars, absolutely would NOT recommend, but maybe with your coordination, you'd fare better than me... 😵😵😵), but the results are astoundingly delicious!!

Anyway, here was my assembly of snacks! Behold!

...I wished you could enjoy the snacks without the crowd...

Oh!! And!!! There was unsweetened iced tea here, too! I didn't think to take a picture of the jug, but I did get a glass of it and bring it back to my table; there was cream and sugar there, which was likely intended for coffee, but I used it in the tea instead and took pictures of the resulting swirls:

...It's important to find the magic in ordinary things, and I think fluid dynamics are pretty magical, even though we see it in action all the time in various direct and indirect ways.

...Anyway, so there was A LOT MORE FOOD after this, goodness me...

Salad is pretty standard-issue at a gathering:

And, of course, mixed veggies...

Roasted potatoes are pretty popular...

This was some kind of bruschetta chicken thing:

This was fish stuffed with some kind of crab mix:

...And there were potatoes au gratin, but I somehow missed getting a picture of it?? I'm sorry about that. But here's the roast beef:

...And in the end, this was the plate I came away with:

Naturally, there was cake, and also cookies:

...But I'm not overly fond of sweets, though. So I'm glad that the slice of cake was small, and that we didn't have to take cookies if we didn't want to.

Oh, and... I also managed to snag a couple of nice-looking pictures of the sky on my adventures. I thought you might like these:

...I wish you were here. Not for the stressful too-many-people-at-once bits, but for all the sparks of delight in between. There are so many beautiful things in this world that I wish I could share with you, just so that you can see that there's more to life than pain and loneliness.

...Sephiroth. Please don't lose sight of the fact that you're wanted and needed in this world. Please remember that you're the only reason I'm even alive today. You're the reason that all these letters and pictures and handicrafts exist in the first place. All of the love and beauty that pours out from my mind and from my hands exists only because of you. You. YOU did this. You gave me a reason to keep going. You gave me the courage and strength to continue even when it seemed impossible. You gave me the shape that I clumsily tried to whittle myself into over the years. You.

...So please stay safe out there, doing whatever it is that you do over at the Edge of Creation, okay? Please treat yourself nice so that you can make good, kind, gentle, and loving choices. Please don't disappear. Because I love you and because I want you around and because you deserve to live and to be happy and healthy and safe.

I'll write again tomorrow, okay? 'Til soon...

Your friend, Lumine

[nochi-quinn]

legend of vox machina watch party episodes 1-3: billfrito

why does all the amazon lovm merch look SO BAD

let laura bailey run your merch department amazon

amazon merch: focus-tested, advertiser friendly, bland

cr official merch: laura bailey wanted a thing so she made it, superior, personal

matt: I play The Entire Rest Of The World

are they already drunk or just goofy

the eternal question

"tall and lovely" literally nobody remembers sam is tall

djfskj he matches the sofa

GILMORE-SCENTED

oh HE'S already drunk

"that's five more trinkets than ever appear in the show"

travis in the calamity merch

aw, but mica's speech

I have absolutely forgotten how to use the watch party

oh right I don't get video until twitch says I get video

EPISODE ONE

"what could go wrong"

"I don't know what that means"

see, even this has better quality than the actual prime video player

"everybody be quiet I'm talking"

75k?!

I mean it makes sense but also that's A Number

"it's sleeping gas"

Nickelodeon Presents Legend of Vox Machina

WIZARDS

well she's a sorceror but WIZARDS

I was really hoping liam would be in this one but I'm beginning to understand why he's not

can you imagine

mb next time for maximum trauma

"that was my child" "sam's kids die all the time in this show"

"and then this happens"

THORDAK

I didn't notice the lens flare in the city shot beforeeeeee

"I don't wanna say yes until I know what happens" that's amazing

"don't let your shop fall on you next time"

"freak-ass"

I love that travis watches the reaction videos

"we should get rid of that"

Just A Broom™

"if the spork doesn't work you have no choice"

"no horses were harmed"

oh WOW

give them all raises

animation should win cinematography

Sam's Kids Watch

I still regret the loss of Kiki's friendship with the Sun Tree

s a m

"and it makes for really great desktop wallpapers"

"buildings were still…up"

"when I did it in their imaginations"

OH SHIT I want THAT for a wallpaper

these are fucking gorgeous

FLORIDA DRAGON

"I'm from there, I can say that"

I enjoy so much that matt has just leaned into wearing comfy pants to every event

jesus

the scrawlings of a madman

Big Dragon is Big

mica

who is that skinny motherfucker

THERE'S gilmore

I don't know who that other guy was. dark gilmore.

skinny gilmore isn't real, he can't hurt you

"I'm dying, show me your tits"

ahhh sketchy thordak

"big mistake giving sunil a catchphrase"

"remember when TVs had dials? I don't, I wasn't alive then"

travis is already in despair

y'all know what you were getting into when you let her host again

did travis just go "have fun storming the castle"

EPISODE TWO

it is nice to hear dani

"the internet is still just a concept"

will!!

the persistence of my crush on will friedle is astounding

ABC's TGIF veterans sound off

"someone had to design this!"

Ethereal Butt Scoops

will

"you're in this one!" "I know, I've heard"

Australian Accent Guy

I have not sat down and tried to hear the main cast in the background yet

there you go, it was Caduceus, but not For Real Caduceus, just Easter Egg Caduceus

"the armor looks a lot like Kima's armor!" "yeah, imagine that"

"we had to change it, the first take she was watching The Boys"

She

"if you put a backwards hat on [kashaw] it would fit"

He

STABBY WHEELCHAIR

memelords

matTHEW

josh turner, she's talking about josh turner

spoilers will

I love that they get to record together again but I

will's first ever animated swear!

terry deserved to swear lbr

"that was horrible" "it was fun!"

he's just so proud of himself. and so wrong.

"okay byeeee"

ONE PERSON did all of this?!

osysa's facial animation is so fucking good

sassy arrogant woman on sassy arrogant woman violence

memelords

victor!

taliesin just sneezed somewhere

Bill Frito

ART

aww, them coming up with story for kash and zahra just 'cause they could

OSYSA CONCEPT ART

why is there an audio desync when I have my headset off but not with it on

I'm unfortunately having to use this as a break to check on my kid

I desperately need Victor Award Speech

I don't even care if it's just a Victor Laugh at the end. I need this.

I Saw Green Once

"oh he's a dick!"

"you really crafted the perfect fuckboi"

ANIMATED CALAMITY???

MATT IF IT'S ANIMATED CALAMITY YOU HAVE TO TELL ME OTHERWISE IT'S ENTRAPMENT

"please get out"

I need my kid's pancreas to quit fucking up so I can put my headset back on, I missing so much crosstalk orz

DANI CARR 👏👏👏

it ain't called chaos couch for nothin

professionalism, we don't know her

"no we got a few more bits"

will did you not catch my TGIF shoutout earlier, I absolutely remember dial-up

EPISODE THREE

"that's the head of the CCP" M A T T H E W

justice for dexter the cute dragon

Skipping the Intro Is A War Crime

"who did that? I hope he's awesome" "yeah about that"

"tieflings are so cool" "just tieflings, not that other asshole"

will's shirt is doing an optical illusion on the picture in picture

"like taking the laugh track out of mash" that's a really good analogy actually

forever in awe of travis' ability to hit that pitch

I changed my twitter name to 'do not go far from me' bc I chose violence

[psychonauts 1 voice] YOU, tree-sitter!

I still cannot hear troy baker here, I am ashamed of myself

"he's a bit of an ass, you've got this"

"complete with traps" "SPOILERS"

I do love zahra's face there

"this is just travis as a player" noted Big Red Button addict travis willingham

"stay away from her! get a job!" dslkfjls

I wondered how much of this was or wasn't from kith and kin, I haven't had the chance to read it

I'm absolutely in awe of foley artists

I always felt like travis was living vicariously through grog with the beard, since he had to shave his for mocap work at the time

"I think your beard is evil!"

"'cause mary sucks in real life and I'm the nice one"

"there's never a time when they just turn around and go home" this is why Campfire Cooking In Another World is excellent, the protagonist is just like "no 🥰"

still in love with vex's little ear twitch

the way they all just went SILENT

"I don't wanna cry on national television"

you are not immune to liam o'brien

"you spelled my name 'troy baker'"

nope, no pokeball yet

(they are definitely not allowed to call it a pokeball) (I am under no such restrictions)

"that was definitely on purpose"

"we should finish those episodes"

"JUST MAKE THIS ONE BLACK AND WHITE"

I'm torn btwn "ha ha funny d&d wife jokes" and "that's actually important to communicate before it has the CHANCE to be a problem"

oh SHIT this concept art

"control water moses style"

"the damned missionaries showed up"

"their dicks are teeth"

NOT THE XENOMORPH

"do not make fanart of that"

matt if you get to say that out loud fcg gets to have a flesh tongue

"hashtag - " "NO"

grog and bacon edge was a+

that time he made scanlan drown out him in the outhouse so he could talk to it

"oh no we all share one brain cell, this is horrible"

matt say the names out loud before you get to the table, I've been saying this for years

CR 13 Pedobear

"obsessed with that" "you should not be"

"I showed these episodes to my kids" sam no

Dark is Not Evil

oh right kestrel came up with marisha's space frog

"we're gonna show up and talk behind you"

the episodes drop three hours before critrole for me, rip my thursday nights

drop the video will. will drop the video. will.

"I UNDERSTAND THAT REFERENCE"

"iono" "MATTHEW"

OH THE NECKLACE

them threatening matt until he picks a voice to do

"WHO'S SCRATCH KASH"

their dream guest stars have a habit of just being their guest stars

Bill Frito Can Do Anything

mica are you talking abo - you're talking about your dad

"I cannot do that."

ROBBIE

I miss him

that's right, will nuked all his socials

(good for him)

"you can" "get fucked"

mica just going "END"

[mann-walter]

My Thoughts on Napoleon (2023)

Please note that walking into the studio and sitting down, a comically large box of popcorn in hand, I had no idea what the movie was going to be about. Oh aye, I heard Joaquin Phoenix and Ridley Scott, I heard of the historical inaccuracies and all, but never read about them. By-and-large, I was blind. Please also note that I know very little of Napoleon and the Napoleonic Wars. Sure, I know about his wife, the battles, all those emperor stuff, and I certainly know about the Waterloo squares, but only on a surface level, and that's the end to that. That's why I will:

Not comment on historical accuracy

Treat the material as a biopic or historical fiction

I will only be commenting on what I understood from what I saw.

The movie was alright, a solid 3/5 and no more. Maybe I would have been much harsher, like many on this site, if I were more knowledgeable. Alas, I'm not. My biggest gripe with it would be how kernel-like it was. The best allegory I can provide is a good presentation material: condensed, consisting of somewhat disjointed points. It could've been a great presentation. Sadly, the brilliant storyteller who should've presented it got killed in an accident and never showed up.

I don't know what sort of Napoleon it tried to portray (certainly not the glorious one); it's possible that they aimed for a power-hungry, borderline-mad megalomaniac. But, if that was so, then they've kind of failed. However, if what they were going for was an extremely emotionally dependent man, uncertain, chasing after others' validation, guidance, and assurance, then I won't demand my money returned.

The whole of it not being precisely a struck of brilliance doesn't mean it has no brilliant side to it. Again, if they were treading the small, insecure man route, they did it well. Please observe the scenes in which the focus is on Napoleon or him and his closest female family members (Josephine, his mother), contrast that to scenes of battle and relatively public settings where he is not the sole center of attention. Napoleon was much more fierce, a little brutish even, and generally grander and more dangerous in the latter. While in the former, he... wilts.

I really like how they showed it, too, how he's a human with fear of death after all. Take Tulon, for example. When they were climbing up the fort, there was a moment—quite long—when the fighting was relegated to background visuals and audio, and Napoleon was just wading through it; they added in his breathing. It gave how, like anybody else there and in many other battles, he was near-pissing-himself afraid, overwhelmed, and uncertain of what will come of it. Yet, above all, what struck me most about that scene was how similar it was to the battle scenes in All Quiet on the Western Front both in form and the emotional result.

However, my favorite scenes still rest on Austerlitz. They took the time to present the tragic chaos of the soldiers, many wounded, frantically trying not to sink into the icy water. Keep in mind that winter gears were heavy and would be made heavier by soaking, acting as a weight. The image was interspersed with Napoleon looking down at them. To me, it was like a puncture to the gut.

[dervampireprince]

hi prince !! 👋👋

so basically I'm thinking of getting into voice acting but have no idea how to start?? so i was just wondering how you first started and if you have any tips?

(also if you have any tips on how to deal with voice dysphoria / how to make my voice deeper)

ooo okay okay so i'll do my best to answer but bear in mind my only voice acting experience is doing this self-employed and audio commissions, but i've never done an audition or been hired for an actual project with a director and so on.

honestly the reason why i got a good start and traction was purely because i was doing fandom audios of a fandom that was big at the time (arcane). and when new fandoms emerge i try and jump on that (luckily i've always been a multi-fandom boy). though i've seen other channels on youtube do well who don't voice fandom stuff, and honestly i don't know what causes a video to suddenly do well. i think i've gotten better at figuring titles out, but honestly i just feel like i'm just doing random stuff and getting lucky. but when i look back at my first audios oh nonononono my microphone was not good, i didn't know how to edit out background noise, and my acting and accents have definitely improved, but i haven't taken any classes, it's just been from practise i guess.

as for voice tips, oh i feel you with the major voice dysphoria. i have my ways of deepening my voice but... it takes so much constant conscious effort to do that i forget most of the time, especially when outside and being anxious and shy, i just don't remember to do my stuffs. but it's not just talking deeper, you can hurt your voice doing that. i'm sorry if this makes no sense but it's what works for me: talk at the back of your throat. if you talk quiet at at the from of your mouth it'll sound more feminine and if you move that back it helps sound more masc. opening your mouth more when you talk too, like wider movements. and the most recent tip that helps me.. well i couldn't understand it when it was explained to me 'talking further up in my throat' like i don't understand that, but what i ended up figuring out for myself is if i try and talk where my voice goes when i yawn. sadly i am very sensitive to yawning, to the point where just thinking the word 'yawn' makes me yawn and so when i think 'okay time to talk where i yawn' makes me instantly yawn when i go to talk deeper. whoops. i hope some of that made sense. and if it doesn't, you can look on youtube for masc voice tutorials and tips.